Sunday, 21 December 2014

Second time cooking

Last week, I made kimchi which was very successful since it was my first time making it and surprisingly it turned out to be very delicious..


Hahaha.. Maybe it looks not appetizing but please do not deceive by the appearance... It is really delicious except that it is very spicy.. The chilly powder that I used was an Indian chilly powder, therefore it is very spicy even though I put only 5 spoons of that powder..

So for this second time, I challenged myself to make radish kimchi and rice cake.. Wow.. As usual, kinchi turned out to be successful but not the rice cake T.T First time I failed in making it because of the flour.. I bought and used wrong flour, therefore, the dough was hard and not sticky.. Second time, I bought the right flour but I do not know why the inner dough was uncooked even though i heat it in the microwave and boiled it in a pot.. I was annoyed.. So I gave up in making it.. 

Next week, I decided to make potato bacon croquette.. I have searched for the recipe online.. 
I wanted to fill my weekend with cooking.. I think it is good for me to learn to cook every week.. You know what? Among my siblings except for the youngest one, I am the worst cook T.T Cooking is fun although it is time consuming..

By the way, Popular has sales.. I bought a book "The Confessions of NeW York Taxi Driver" for only RM8.. The original price is RM39.90.. With the sales, I have saved up RM31.90... What a good buy ^^ 

10 more days to go then a new beginning is going to start soon.. I have a lot of things haven't even start yet.. Thesis, Year End Shopping, X'mas Plan, New Year Plan, Revision for exam on Jan 12th.. The most important among all these is thesis.. I have to really start to do my Chapter 1 SOON... I have finished reading "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" and now I am going to read " The Five People I met in Heaven" by Mitch Albom.. Enjoy reading so much recently..

Saturday, 20 December 2014

The Wallflower


Oh my gosh.. Oh my gosh.. I can’t wait to share with you this since my memory is still fresh and my feelings are still strong with it.. Guess what I have just finished the novel “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” This is my first time for being able to finish reading a book in 2 weeks times. But this is not something that I want to share today..

I want to share about how amazing this book was.. Because this book is good and I think I will buy and keep this book soon.. Alright so here goes my sharing.. When I read the last page before the epilogue about what happened to Charlie after he rejected to make out with Sam, when he was able to listen to radio but the radio was not on and so on, it made me felt creepy.. Something was happened to him but I still can’t figure out what has actually happened to him not until I read the epilogue .. My heart beat very fast and I can’t wait to know what has happened to him.. I knew he was admitted to the hospital and something happened between him and Aunt Helen. His family was angry with Aunt Helen but I still don’t know what did Aunt Helen did until I reread the page where Charlie slept and dreamt when he and his siblings were watching tv with his aunt and he said “She was doing what Sam was doing.” So I started to get to know what Aunt Helen did to him.. To confirm my assumption was correct, I went online and search for “What actually was happened to Charlie in The Perks of Being a Wallflower?” Ya.. My assumption was right.. He was molested by the person he liked the most and trusted the most in the world.. I knew something must be happened to him when I read that he went to a bad place after his aunt was gone but that time I didn’t know what was actually happened to him.. I was like “What?” when I knew the ending.. How could Aunt Helen do this to Charlie when she was the one that Charlie loved the most..

I was kind of shocked by the ending of the story..  At first, when I read the book, I thought that Charlie was looking for his true identity like what usually happens to teenagers “identity seeking” and “peers influence”.. That was why he followed and did whatever people asked him to do because he was not sure who he was actually..  To me “forget” is an action when you are trying to avoid “something” or when that “something” is not important to you. For instance, if you try to ask me what I had yesterday for dinner, I might not able to tell you instantly what I had.. It takes time for me to recall yesterday memories in my brain because yesterday what I ate is not important to me in my life.. Trivial memories can still be recalled but if you are trying to avoid the memory, you will bury it deep in your heart and mind.. You thought that by burying it deep inside, you will be able to forget as time goes by, you will not be hurt and the matter can be evaded. But actually not.. In contrast, it brings severe impacts to you.. It is better for you to express your anger or sadness rather than keep it in your heart. You think it is better to keep it in your heart because you do not want others to be affected.. You think it is better to keep inside your heart because you think that it is better for one person to be hurt, to be sad rather than a few people to be sad and worry about you.. You think that it is better to keep inside your heart because you think that no one will understand your problem and no one is willing to spend time, listen and understand your problem..
It is easy to say rather than do it myself.. I am a person who is like this but it is depending on the seriousness of the matter.. If it is serious and cannot be settled by myself, I will express it to that particular person. But if it is small matter and can be settled by me alone, I will just keep quiet.. I am a private person. 

Because I am this kind of person that is why I don’t mind if others, someone who is close to me or someone that I know, do not share his/her secret with me.. Even if I know that he/she is not telling me, I will not ask.. I mean you will tell me without me asking if you want to tell me.. I understand.. Don’t worry.. I have someone who I trusted the most and who I am able to express everything freely to him who is Mr.Egg..

When I am writing this blog, I thought about my cousin who is now Standard 5. My 4th aunt’s son. He is young in terms of age but he is mature in terms of thinking. He knew what has happened to his family. I think he is sad and he needs someone to talk to but none he can talk to. The impacts from the slump his family had, from a wealthy family to a family with no properties and the fact that his father left them and had affair with someone. And also my 4th aunt to pretend like nothing happened and to pretend like she is tough and happy. Haiz. I don’t know what to say and how to help. Life is miserable as I grow up. I just wish to go back to my younger time where everything was simple, happy and united. Mr. Egg advised me not to put or assume everything is my matter or my responsibility because by doing this, I am making myself unhappy and depress. In order to ensure everyone is happy, I have to be really happy first. Put myself to the first priority. That was what he said. I am not sure whether what he said is correct or not >< 

Friday, 19 December 2014

Second Last Semester

I have just completed my CTES last week. This semester I needed to rate only three lecturers for three courses. I rated very high for zuwati’s class and artboy’s class because they deserve it. But not latifah’s class. Sometimes when I looked at her, I felt sympathy for her. She is actually a nice old lady who likes other old ladies, loves to share her life with others but she is not a professional lecturer. She said she went to study her master/PHd (I am not sure) in UK but her proficiency of English is just terrible and she said she has taught this course for many years but we can see that she has taught this course for many years as she was always not well-prepared, blurred and took online resources in front of us and taught us with that trusted? Or untrusted? resources in class. I mean her attitudes in class can be accepted if she was a new lecturer or she was a student like us BUT she is a lecturer with the name Dr. and she did many presentations in different countries like Istanbul. She even reminded us for several times to rate her high for the CTES as she wants to secure and maintain her job as a lecturer. As a student of her, what should I do? Should I pity her and rate her high? Or should I be honest and rate her low to ensure the quality of my juniors? At the end, I rate her high because she is my lecturer and I pitied her.

Three days ago I did two surveys from zuwati. Those two surveys I was being honest. I answered according to myself and not being affected by others. I entered into this programme because of my parents. I wanted to be a doctor and for so many years I put efforts in my study especially science subjects just to achieve my dream but at the end because of financial problem my dream continues to be a dream. I was angry at that time but I didn’t blame my parents because I am the eldest, study medical course is expensive and I can’t be so selfish using most of the money for myself and made my parents and siblings suffer because of me. Now I am good and surviving in this programme. I learned a lot and made many friendships in this programme. In TESL, we learned teaching theories + literature + English language. Among these three, I prefer literature the most, I hate proficiency class the most and I think teaching theories are the useless the most. I suggested this programme should teach more relevant and practical teaching skills like class management, ways to deal with discipline problems and teach students with the education policies and implementations such as PBS and PT3. When you start to teach like a real teacher in a school, you will know that all the theories that you have learned cannot be applied in the class. I love literature because I am amazed on how the words are able to bring an impact and give meanings to live and the words are being useful and impactful until now in this modern era. I love literature because it allows me to think from other’s perspectives and think deep about others. I love literature because of the lecturers I had in all these literature courses. They are beyond professional and they are just great. When they teach they are like sharing their stories and opinions about the literature and I love listening to their opinions and stories. I hope that I can be like them one day whose is able to think out of the box and the thinking that is produced is meaningful and relevant.  

I realized I am no longer close with my aunties(mother’s side). I mean there is still a bond between me and them but physically I am not close with them like how I was with them last time when I was young. I don’t talk with them frequently and I have no topic also to talk with them. I even rejected to go to Singapore with them although I have free transportation, accommodation and maybe food. I don’t know why but I felt reluctant. People change and leave. My fifth aunty who was once a stingy lady who loves to buy things with cheap price now changes to a wife and mum who likes to spend money on expensive stuffs and commented about the stuffs we buy with cheap prices. It is your choice whether to spend money on expensive stuffs or cheap stuffs. It is good and I am happy for my 5th aunt to have this kind of luxurious life and having the super purchasing power. But I do not like it when she tries to comment and criticize on others with the cheap things that we buy == My 4th aunt was the worst among all the aunties.  She slumped from someone who is like my 5th aunty to someone who is now staying in a rented house with three small sons and with a run-away husband. I kind of like pity her but I can’t do anything because I have no money and is not my turn to speak for her in front of my aunties and my grandparents. It is better for a person to cry when a problem comes than being tough and strong. Husband has affair with a stupid and brainless bitch (I don’t say bad words but I am super angry so please forgive me) and now he is disappeared without any explanation and makes thing clear. I don’t know and I don’t understand. Maybe Charlie is right. “Things change. People leave. But life doesn’t stop for anybody.” (Yeah. I am reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower). So maybe it is right for her to being strong and tough although it is hurtful. 



Sunday, 14 December 2014

Old love

This weekend was productive to me.. I made my first homemade kimchi at the same time cleaned and tidied up my room with my parents...

While cleaning my room, I found my primary and secondary school memories.. I found the letters that I used to write with my primary school best friend.. The love letter from a boy who tried to go after me when I was in Form 6.. The drawings and CNY cards from the students that I taught in daycare center.. Suddenly, feeling nostalgic.. These are the things that bring back my memories.. So I can't dispose them.. I will keep it in a cupboard and one day next year when my father forced me to clean my room again, the memories will be back..

The process of making my kimchi was dragged because of an unpredictable incident.. My grandmother was admitted to hospital.. My father received a phone call from my uncle that my grandmother was admitted to ICU while we were shopping for grocery.. We were all worried especially my father.. But luckily, my grandmother was just having a fever and probably infection after operation(hope not. need to know after the blood & urine tests). When my grandmother was admitted to hospital, I found love and care between my mother and my grandmother.. A traditional Chinese family where a mother-in-law always demands this and that from her daughter-in-law and nags and criticizes her for the thing that is not perfect from mother-in-law's perspective.. My mother as a common daughter-in-law will always not satisfies with my grandmother and always complains about her in front of my father.. She always always always says how bad my grandmother is when she was married to my father, how she asks her to do many many works when she stayed with her last time and bla bla bla.. Even though my mother always complains about my grandmother and my grandmother is really bad to my mother but today when my grandmother falls sick, my mother is the one who goes back & forth to see her, helps her to bathe & cooks for her..  Although I will not say it out, I love my mother and of course I will take care of her when she is old..

I heard a Chinese song in the radio while we were going to the hospital to see my grandmother.. The song says "As you grow older, you become lonelier" When a person is old, he/she behaves like a child.. Unable to walk, immune system becomes super weak, the bones are fragile, needs attentions, needs people to take care, needs people to help with daily routines like bathe.. The difference between the old and baby is baby is loveable & everyone is willing to take care of them while the old one everyone will give excuses like no time, no money and bla bla bla... Soon the old one is neglected... T.T

By the way, I have finished making my kimchi.. If this kimchi is a success, I am going to make again...
Pearly's Kimchi>> A new kimchi brand

My grandmother is healthy and she is getting better now.. I love my grandmother and I am closed with her.. She must lives longer to see me get married in 10 years time ^^

Friday, 5 December 2014

U.O.I.E.A Explorace

Explorace event was done finally..
One project done.. One assignment done..
Kok-K project to go.. Thesis to write.. Altogether 2 more things to be done..


It was a success yesterday.. Everyone had fun (I guess).. Especially the students from Catholic.. They were sporting, enthusiastic and looked better than my students (lucky Michelle ^^) 



The literature station that Gan & I were responsible.. It was a chaos for us.. Catholic students id not learn "The Fruitcake Special", so we had to come out with another plan.. Some students were weak, therefore, we have to be linear and gave extra time to all the groups.. I taught my 4B students this short story and I thought they will do well in my literature station compared to the other groups.. Who knows, they were worse than the others.. One of the 4K group was the best among the others and they did well in one shot without errors.. GOOD JOB ^^


My students.. Thank you for their help and come to my event.. But at the same time, I felt sorry for them as well because I did not mingle with them and talked to them.. In contrast, Mich and Tien did a good job as they really talked and mingled very well with their students.. Haiz.. I also do not understand why I have this barrier in my heart and I felt that i cannot overcome this barrier and mingle with them like how i mingle with my friends... I am really sorry... You guys are supportive.. I appreciate it although I did not express my appreciation on my face and behaviours..

This year, I read less book but I eat more..
Next year, I have to start to enjoy reading and drink coffee..


Hey hey hey... Not forget to mention that my brother has used his first wage to treat us dinner last Saturday at Nandos... A good dinner...


And went to OU with my sister and her friends last Friday.. She went out with her friends while me walked and shopped alone.. Padini had 3 days sales..



Friday, 28 November 2014

16个夏天

刚看完“16个夏天”这部连戏剧。
已经有了应该有9年了每看过台湾连戏剧。

人中是错过而后悔。
人中是爱猜测爱自以为。
人就是怕被拒绝所以宁愿自己乱想自己无私乱想。
就是因为怕结果不理想爱猜测爱自己做推论,所以往往就是错过了,后悔了。

我在想如果我失去了我最爱的人,我也是会碰亏,寂寞。
人中是不会感恩,所以上帝才要把时间走的那么快。
时间要不走的那么快,我想很多人都会过的很颓废。

昨天爸妈去泥泊尔。
和那两个小的去了jusco。打机,买晚餐的材料,逛逛。
然后上课去。
赶着回家,煮泡菜汤给了那几个小的和蛋先生吃。妹妹就煮了韩国sushi吃。
好成功的一个晚餐。感觉好开心哦。
接下来这几天会更好。

Friday, 10 October 2014

Go for IT LOH


For two consecutive days, I went to Midvalley.. This was the first time in my life to go to Midvalley for so two times in a week.. Spent quite a lot T.T

I have this friend, who is to me, clumsy, innocent and kind..
These few days, quite frequent, I hang out with her and I started to realize a lot of things about her..
She has personalities which are totally opposite from me..

She is a happy go lucky person which I am not.. I will feel sad and angry if something goes wrong with what I wanted or planned.. But it takes me only one day to be happy back.

She is a person who thinks an action, has a desire or decision, she will instantly do it or achieve it without further consideration or thinking.. I am not.. When I want to carry out an action, I need to think of many things.. Which is to me, a quite bad behaviour.. Worries or think too much makes you further away from your dream.. Once you started to consider a lot and come out with results or questions that might or might not happen, you will start to afraid to make the first step.

She is a person who will not think negatively.. I will.. When I wanted to do something, I always think for the worst results and what should I do if the worst result happens.. She told me failure or success of a matter we cannot control it.. The only we can do is work hard and do the best for it..

When watching horror movie, she dares to listen to the horror sound effects with closed eyes but I am not.. I cannot listen to these sound but I dare to open my eyes and watch the movie.. hahaha (SO PROUD)

Yes, she is clumsy, messy, innocent and blurred but I guess she is happier than I am.. She is able to show me something that I don't have and I should learn from her..


Thanks hotty ><

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

I realized...

Today is the last day of September..
In a blink, 2014 nearly reach the end... Three more months to go and I am going to celebrate New Year again.. Sigh again for the speed of time..

I have learned Korean for almost a year and I learned this language from three Korean exchange students including this new teacher.. From Seulgi to Cha Ryeong from Cha Ryeong to Hyeong Min, I realized Cha Ryeong is the best tutor among the other two.. She is more friendly and taught better than the other two..

I realized can't stand hunger.. If I am starved, I will feel headache and nausea.. I love food but I do not hope to become fat.. Contradiction occurs = =



I realized I can't poop at other toilets except at the toilet in my house.. I am scolded by Mr.Egg and my friends for my bad habit of bearing the poop from coming out rather than go and poop it out..

Recently, I had just finished watching "It's Ok, That's Love".. A unique Korean drama because this drama is unlike the usual Korean drama that we watched.. It is not about dying, crying, and pathetic love but it is about human psychology.. The importance of family' s influence and treatments to children in their childhoods.. The different types of psychology that exist in this world.. Going to see psychologist doesn't mean that you are abnormal but instead they make you feel comfortable by chatting with them and expressing out your anger and depression..


I realized I am kind of admired the main actor in this drama... He is handsome and charming unlike the usual flower boys in Korea..
I realized I am addicted to the OST in this drama especially the English songs used in this drama..
I realized I am started to have interest in learning or get to know more about human psychology..

Many things to realize in this month...
By the way, my 30-day exercising that I posted in previous blog has officially FAILED T.T

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

20 facts about myself

Come out with "20 facts about yourself" is a viral challenge now in Instagram...
So I have two friends here who nominated me to do this challenge: My best friend and Michelle ^^

It was really a challenge for me.. It took quite a long time for me to think and come out with these 20 facts.. The worst thing is, it took me 5 times to re-upload the photo with the 20 facts to Instagram ==  The first time I failed to upload and I lost all the 20 facts that I have typed T.T So the second time I tried to upload the photo, I was smart... I copy all the words that I have typed.. So if this time, I was unable to upload but I have saved the facts.. Hehehehe...I found this challenge is quite interesting and attractive.. It really helps me to think deeply about myself..

This was what I came out with..


20 facts about myself:

1. I love to drink coffee but I have zero knowledge about coffee.
2. I love Kang Gary from Running Man. I love his personalities and appearance based on what I saw in Running Man but I do not like most of his songs.
3. I love to eat spicy food especially tom yam.
4. I put water to my rice if I eat petai.
5. I am lazy. I want to be slim but I am lazy to exercise. I love to read but it takes months for me to finish a book or novel.
6. I dislike add math and physics. I hate calculations.
7. I have birth marks on my back left bottom. I call it my countries because these birth marks look like countries on a map which is my skin.
8. I love my friends and Mr.Egg but I believe that anything can happen and change in friendship and relationship except family bonding.
9. I am quiet and shy to strangers and new friends. It takes times for me to show you my true colours (crazy, funny and nonsense girl) to them.
10. I act childishly but I think maturely. 
11. I love to mingle with kids rather than adults. Because to me, adults are more complicated.
12. I love science especially biology. I am amazed on how the organs and systems in humans, insects and animals function.
13. I am conscious with my belongings or ODC(maybe?). I have to put my belongings to the right place after I have used it.
14. I do not hold grudges for long. I am unable to angry with someone for more than one day.
15. I like to wear stripless bra.
16. I have pimples and scars (from pimples) on my face.
17. I have oily face and hair. So when it is afternoon, my face and hair start to become oily.
18. I want to feel the feeling and experience of pregnancy but I am not eager and ready to be a mother or wife.
19. I don't think I am fertile as I suffer with period pain every month.
20. I think about death and growing up when I am having insomnia.

Actually, there must be more than 20 facts about myself but it is just that it is hard for me to think. Maybe two more which are: I like to pose "peace" in almost all my photos & I love to cut my fringe straight and above my eyebrow level.


My new challenge.. Since my grandparents said I am fatter.. Now I want to be determined and challenged myself with this 30-day exercising challenge... Hope after 30 days, I am able to see some changed to my body ^^


Friday, 29 August 2014

No money, No everything

Human requires these basic elements to survive: water, air, food and shelter.. This is not a stone age era where these basic elements are free for us.. This is GLOBALIZATION & MODERNIZATION ERA, where everything needs $$$$$ except air...

Just read through an article about buying house in Malaysia.. Went to check, only I found out that the cheapest house, a condominium, needs at least RM600,000 ++.. A small and narrow condominium... WHY SO EXPENSIVE??? The two-storey house that I am living now needed only RM 200,000++ in 10 years ago.. Now with RM600,000 ++, I can't afford to buy a double-storey house, instead, this amount of money can only afford to buy a condo T.T

My dream house ~~~ VANISH~~~ Wanted to have a double-storey house with a small garden where I can have a pond, a place for barbeque and a place where my children can run around and cycling... I think this is kind of an innocent and unrealistic dream in this era... Now, the houses are already so so so so so so so so EXPENSIVE... Then how about 10 years later? LAGILAH EXPENSIVE

Haiz.. How I want to afford to buy a house?? Shelter, a basic element for human, is becoming a thing that is extravagant and unaffordable.. I should start thinking now..

Who should I depend on to buy a house?
How much should I save to buy a house?
What kind of house should I buy?
Where should I stay?
Can I buy a house by myself?

Things are becoming better as time goes but to have these things, you must have money first...
No money, how you want to become better in your lifestyle?
MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

How do you see me?

Friends who know me, see me as a happy go lucky person...
Strangers who do not know me, see me as a quiet and shy person..
Family who sees me since young, see me as an innocent and clumsy person..
Passer-by who knows my face but do not talk to me, see me as an arrogant person...

I do not like noise...
I do not like problems, but at the end I will accept and solve these problems...
I will angry but after a day, I will forget and forgive...
I am a slow-friendly person... It takes time for me to show you my truth identity (crazy,nonsense and funny)...
I am optimistic because I know whatever problems in front of me, there will be millions of solutions to overcome these problems...
I am not dumb... I know that we have to change according to the environment because WE humans have the ability to adapt...
I am a person who knows how to appreciate... If you sincerely treating me good, I will treat you tenfold better than the way you treat me... Even if you do not treat me good, I will not angry with you because I know is your choice to the ways you treat me..
I love to have some peaceful and quiet time for me to think and plan deeply about many things in my life...
I love to have good personal talk with my best friend and egg because it helps me to know myself and these two better...
I do not like to go to parties... I love to have an enclosed gathering with the people that I am close to...
I am serious when it needs me to be serious...
I am a simple person who hopes and gives the best to my family and the ones who treat and give me his/her sincere heart...
I will have headache and need a rest once I encounter stress or problem... BUT I will continue with my journey after that break ^^


This is how I see myself...
What do you think?

Monday, 25 August 2014

Last day of Practical

Can't believe that during my last day, I started to miss the environment, the colleagues and students (some only).. Thinking back, I was so reluctant and full of hatred to the students, work load and observations.. I was anticipated for the practical to end... However, things and feelings changed as times passed... I started to like and miss my students(some only).. In contrast, I felt strange and uncomfortable today as I have nothing to do and free all the time.. I do not know how to occupy my times...


Puppet show as the while-activity for "The Fruitcake Special"... Thanks to my brother who drew the puppets for me ^^


The class who was able to make angry, shout, hatred and sometimes love.. 4B.. My class, I don;t know whether is their attitudes problem or they really dislike me.. Didn't prepare any cards/message/small gifts for me.. Didn't request for selfie or take more pictures with me... Didn't even demand for my facebook account, instagram account, twitter account or numbers ==


My lovely and helpful mentor: Pn.Leong.. Although I am not close with her compared to Lee and Grace, but she treated me well and with responsibilities..


To be honest, I hope to have a farewell between me and my class only.. I hope to have some personal talks with my students.. But who knows, they called their subject teachers and even the principal... The worst is, they asked the monitor to give speech, they asked the principal to give speech but they didn't ask me to give my last speech.. HELLO 4B, it is MY farewell, OK?



                                     
                   CF gathering... The only thing that can give me peace after a long day of noise and headache...


Oh.. These are the students that I will miss in SMKBB... These students are good boys.. They came every Tuesday to learn despite of all the obstacles and problems they encounter in life... These are the people who we really need to help...

So after this practical, will I continue to be a teacher or not?
I can say I started to like teaching... But I hate to do all the paper works... There are many types of teachers.. I think I prefer to be volunteering teacher who teaches students who live in rural areas and have difficulties in getting basic education...



Saturday, 9 August 2014

Fly

How fast the time flies... Two more weeks to go for my practical..
When I reflect back, it was funny to look back how reluctant I was to come to school to teach, how I described the school as "hell" and students as "monsters, I cried because of the stress and students I have to teach for 10 weeks and how I want to leave this place as soon as possible...

In contrast, now, I felt sad to leave them... I can't wait to leave the school and end my practical but I am sad to leave the students... As time passed, I felt that I grew fonder with my students... These boys are naughty, talkative and active but they have kind hearts... So sad, I have no photos of them T.T I am unable to take any photos of my students due to the teaching ethics and profession... I can only take picture with them on the very last day... Yesterday, my lecturer came for sudden observation and I saw her taking pictures of my students... Went to watsapp her for the pictures, she replied me but until now she hasn't send the pictures to me yet...

Pn. Zuwati, I WANT THE PICTURES !!!!!

6 weeks ago, I was reluctant to go back to school every Monday.. Decided to spend my valuable Sunday with good food and outings... So I went to:


Aquaria KLCC for the first time.. Wanted to have a walk at the sky bridge between the two KLCC towers but failed because we can't find for the location of the bridge.,,

Swimming at a place nearby Confucian High School... The environment here is nice and not crowded... I learned how to float for 3 seconds >< Wanted to come here every Sunday but FAILED to do so ==


ACME Bar&Coffee ^^ The environment here is nice and we went there on Sunday during lunch time... Many people but we didn't need to wait for very long to be ushered to a seat... And the food with the coffee are delicious and BIG in portion... 

I enjoyed my Sunday with Mr.egg <3
I have to appreciate the times I have in BB...
I hope my students are able to be good and succeed in terms of attitudes and results... 
I hope I am able to leave memories to my students...

Hope my MY HOPES come true <3

Friday, 11 July 2014

Oh Oh

Today was a happy day to me.. I guess students in SMKBB are not bad overall.. Students from 3K gave me support asking me "jia you"... Students from 4B started to become friend with me... Seeing how these students in 4B putting effort and money to prepare a farewell party for Ms.Yong(chemistry teacher in BB who was given promotion as a Form 6 teacher.) From their efforts, I thought Ms.Yong is their class teacher but in contrast no... Yet, they made all these for her even though only 4 of them came to say bye to her... They invited me to the party ^^ Good boys... But I hope they will not make all these things for me.. I will cry...

Hope they will be as good as today until week 10 >< I am going to pray hard for their good attitudes...


Thursday, 26 June 2014

Heartbreak

Today I scolded my class.. The "scold" I am talking here is not the fierce I used to have to my 3k but this "scold" came from my heart and it really very painful.. When a person even scold also don't want to make the effort to scold, it means the person is really suffered from heartbreak and has give up on that particular person.. So, I scolded them because I care.. I see hope on them.. I felt happy to see that at least there is this class who are good behaved and i should teach them well although my english, i know myself is not competitive.. I am not interested in teaching but since I am here as a teacher, I should do my job as a teacher well.. But i felt regret and unhappy with myself.. I think I myself was the one should reflect on myself.. I am so dissappointed with myself.. I am not suitable to become a teacher.. Was I wrongly scolded them? Was my teaching uninteresting? I don't know what they want.. I am failed.. I want to rest..

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Tous les Jours

Wanted to spend my Sunday meaningfully and happily for these 10 weeks... I dislike Sunday... Monday will be the day for me to go back to hell (SMKBB)... Therefore, today, I suggested to go to eat cakes and drink coffee (only food can make me happier. Nowadays, my preference to shop lessen) at this place which I hope to go for quite a long time.. Finally, I had the chance to eat here... Tous Les Jours... It takes almost 30 minutes for us to search for this place...


The decoration of this coffee shop is elegant and classic...


I like the transparent mirror...


Erm... The cakes and macaroons here are expensive but the prices of the breads here are reasonable... Personally, I do not like this cake.. Too sweet... But this cake is the recommended cake in this shop.. The coffee is so so to me but to mr.egg, he likes the coffee here.. I like the apple crumb and macaroon <3

Macaroon = RM 4.50 per piece
Cake = RM 10.50
Blueberry yoghurt something something = RM 8.50
Apple crumb = RM 4.50
Cold macchiato and cold cappuccino = RM 9 each

KL roads and road signs are confusing and in a mess... People walking around without looking at the cars ==

Environment is good but noisy... I prefer quiet and peaceful coffee shop... 


The decorations here are elegant and classic.. I like it...

Happy times passed so fast...
Suffered times pass so slow T.T



Friday, 20 June 2014

First week of practical

Okay... So here goes my first week of my practical teaching... Glad and thankful... For these three days, many things happened but for one thing which I am very sure is I am mentally exhausted... Looking older and many cells in my body have dies... Nervous and challenges come everyday.. No happiness or laughter existed during these three days in the school.. However, the good thing is we have less classes either to teach or to relieve and the teachers there are very good, kind and helpful...

Just on the first day itself, I had this session problem with Grace.. To me, Grace is really an evil... Put me through this and made me as the evil in this problem... She should know beforehand that she has to think about the transportation and accommodation during practical... If I am assigned to the evening session, I will force myself to like it although I do not want evening session... Yat, who has no right to talk about me, also doesn't want to drive his car for HIS Grace's convenient... Hello, don't you consider my difficulties too??

Second day, I was happier as I successfully carried out the ice breaking activity with my English class in 4B... From this ice breaking activity, I realised that my students are active, funny and some are sensitive... Although that day, there were two students who were not cooperative but at least I managed to control the class...

Today is the third day, I had literature with 4B... Because lacking of time, I decided to reuse my lesson plan which I did in Pn.Zuwati's simulated teaching class and I altered the lesson plan a little bit... Well, overall the lesson was successful as the students are quite obedient and listen to me... The only problem is the students are quite passive... Only some are active... But after listened to Mr.Egg, I will not carry out creative and interesting activity every lesson... I am a teacher who is supposed to teach but I am not a creative director who needs creativity everyday.. The most worrisome class is 3K which my classmates even Lee could not control the class... Unexpectedly, the class is worst than what the "worst" was in my mind... The students do not even listen to me, they talked, they went in and out without my permission, lied to me & left 5 minutes earlier which even I shouted and asked them back also useless and WORST fought in from of me... There is this Indian gang who likes to tease an obese but a nice boy with the name "Ogawa".. The worst class in my first week and what WORST is I am the teacher who is going to teach them Sivik... Okay... Bad... Depress... I know... But as what Lee said, I chose to teach in the morning session, therefore, I have to accept the challenge...

I have a brother who is studying in Form 2 now... After that bully case in 3K and the attitudes and behaviours of the students, I am worried about the future of our country and my brother... The teachers can't do much... These people in this generation are very hard to control and teach... They are worst than what I had in my mind... What is the problem now? How to change these people? What kind of future will we have in Malaysian society? Oh my, I can't even imagine... Just hope that my brother is studying well in his school, safe and doesn't behave as the students in SMK BB.... Family education and care are important for them....

Today is my first time to join Christian fellowship with Tien, Lee, 4 Form 5 students, one cute little boy from Form 1 and very nice, sweet and kind Pn.Helen... From this meeting, I found peace and warmth... And hope.. At least from this meeting, I saw there is some minority who are willing and seriously studying, nice and well behaved... So I realised that whatever is happening to me in 3K, i should seriously teach them Sivik for the sake of the minority in that class... Who doesn't want to learn in this class, I just ignore them...



HOPE IS STILL THERE, MY PEARL...
8 MORE SUFFERING WEEKS TO GO....
FIGHT FOR YOUR CHOICE and KEEP SMILING

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Sg. Lembing, Kuantan

Went to Sg. Lembing for the second time with my father's secondary school friends together with Mr. egg...

The first day was super boring...Among the six families, I only know one family with the familiarity of only 30%... First day, we spent most of the time on the car travelling from KL to Kuantan... OH.. My ass was pain and suffering...



We reached there around 1 something and the first destination was the hanging bridge.... 


A perfect picture from Mr. Egg.. Thanks to the camera that he bought not for his skill... He bought a Sony camera from Digital Mall with this special function known as PANAROMA... I will put this picture as the wallpaper in my laptop..


The lobby/living room of the house my father rented.. My father was the one who was responsible for the accommodation... The house was big but the room was not spacious... Each room was small, has not functioning tv, has not good connection Wifi service... Very bad service... But the lobby/living room was the best.. spacious and comfortable, so, I took a picture there..



We went to the beach as well at around 6 something... Even though is late evening, the beach was so crowded with people.. Since, it was late evening, we cancelled the plan of playing and swimming in the sea... Instead, it was "selfie" time..


Second day, we actually decided to climb the Lembing Hill but once again the plan was cancelled due to sleepiness... We ha breakfast at the pasar and we had "Yong Tau Foo" noodle...
The thickest and oldest tree in Sg.Lembing

We rented bicycles and we had cycling on the second day... Happiest and funniest moment... 


After crossing the bridge, we went to eat the famous "Shao Zhu" which my best friend, Tie Mie, likes to eat the most... But the quality of this "Shao Zhu" deteriorated after the first time we tried it which was only one year ago.. No longer crispy and delicious... However, the price was remained RM20 one box..


The only wooden house beside the hanging bridge... The family who stays here are simple.. Wonder how they are able to survive... But they can, I can't...

That was the end of myKuantan trip which the remaining of hours on the second day was spent on the car going back to KL...






Monday, 9 June 2014

What feeling is this?

Just came back from Kuantan with my family...

Had lots of fun and took lots of photos...

Memories are with me but pictures are with Mr. Egg...

Will upload those photos and talk about my memories...

Latest by this week...

Tomorrow have seminar for us to be well prepared for practical next week...

Worry, scare, not anticipate, afraid, a lot of complicated and inexpressible feelings...

But have to face it anyway...

Down and depress...


Thursday, 5 June 2014

FIRE

Angry ah angry ah !!!!!!!!

Spent whole evening to do my research paper, at the end wanted to save, Microsoft hang and the whole thing disappeared.....

Now have to burn the midnight oil, try to trace back what I have written down in the evening.. I am very frustrated because of this assignment.. When I almost done everything, all the hard work vanished in a blink....


CRAZY MAN.......................................................................................... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Good Talk

Happy today because we finally able to talk without gap like last time.. This is week 13 and there is one more week, the semester officially ends.. Thanks for having gathering today, it made us be back like last time and had sakai times together...

Today, last class with Madam Zuwati.. I felt lucky and happy to be in her class... She taught us a lot of things and gave us constructive and useful comments during our teaching... Thank you.. I think she is a very successful lecturer and we are glad to have you teaching us....

In the library, we had a great talk regarding our future.. FUTURE - a blur and vague word for me.. I wanted to work but I don't know what should I work as... I wanted to continue my study but I don't know what should I take for my Master... I DON'T KNOW is the only answer I have now for my future... Tien has her planning... She is determined to take English Literature for her Master... Taking Master is not about friend.. Hence, I have to think deeply and seriously about what I am interested in... I think I don't know myself very well yet... Life is full of possibilities... What I should do now maybe I should talk to an educated and wiser person like??? No idea who is this person.. 




Monday, 19 May 2014

Lesson

Is it hard to go back to the time where four of us having fun, SAKAI and talk without any gaps in between us? I realized we are quite apart after the argument and misunderstanding.. I dislike this awkwardness or gap that exists in between us.. I appreciate our friendship but it was like I was angry that day because if her misunderstanding towards me and I had no idea how to explain... So I gave up explaining.. I just hope she didn't read my blog..

Is true that nothing in this world last long. Although this is sad, it teaches humans to appreciate something before it gone.. If everything last long, I bet none of us will learn and understand the meaning of "Appreciate".. I was sad to read the article she posted in her blog.. It is true but at least we must have the effort to try to connect and contact with each other even though we are not studying in the same school, working in the same place or spend most of the time in a day with each other.. We have one more year to go.. Can we be happily for this remaining year before we are going to separate from each other?

DEPRESSED
SAD
HEARTSICK
AND



BYE........................................................


Friday, 16 May 2014

Time for a Rest

Finally is time for a rest now and only for today because I need to do my draft for my research paper..

This week a hectic and busy week for me.. So many assignments, walking and problems...

Anyway, things have past.. Let's look forward and be anticipated for my future...

Can't think of anything now... Is time to off my brain and let it rests..

Good Night, Brain <3



Thursday, 15 May 2014

W12 unhappiness

There was so many unhappiness happened to me this week.

Don't think a good friend will understand you much... When something happens, they too will be in the crowd that misunderstands you..

Explanation? Best friend needs explanation too when something happens.. Don't ever assume that they will be the one who understands your personalities and characteristics... You want explanation? I can give it to you but do you think you will understand me better, not angry with me and kick away the negative thoughts you have about me? If NO, then sorry... An explanation is not needed...

I admit that I am playful, filled with nonsense but when it needs me to become an adult, I can be an adult too.. When I am given a responsibility in a group assignment, I will do it properly for my own good and their good too.. Instead I was being asked for someone's mistake T.T I am active but I am not that evil friend who likes to separate others and I am definitely not a loudspeaker... I keep secret too.. I hope G and M had a good relation too...


Before you blamed me or angry with me, do you ever think of the rationale why am I doing so?? Do you really understand my characteristics? For the umbrella case, is really my fault.. So, I have no right to defend myself.. no matter how terrible you want to scold me or say to me, I accept but for these few unhappiness that happened, IT IS NOT MY FAULT...

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Nervousness

Already quite a time I didn't update my blog.. This semester is quite a packed and busy semester compared to last 5 semesters.. I have a lot of lesson plans and micro teaching to do... Although I have presented for quite a number of times, every time I come out to teach in the class and in front of my own classmates, I feel nervous... I knew my weakness which is language... I can't speak fluent English spontaneously in term of grammar and pronunciation... I tried to overcome this problem by reading more English materials but FAILED... I should try to watch and listen to English videos or audios but I NEVER try...

One more month, I am going to become a trainee teacher... Nervousness is here again... I was informed that I am going to teach at SMK Bukit Bintang... However, is not confirmed yet until tomorrow... Actually no matter which school I am going to teach, I will be nervous.. So I think I should be happy with this school as it is near UM, I am going to this school with my best friend and Tien knows the principal there... Always try to comfort myself that I can teach and should overcome this nervousness but it is still there in my mind and heart... I have a lot to think... Are the boys there naughty? Will they listen to me? Can I teach them well? What should I teach? Can I mingle with them and have a good teacher-students relationship with them?

 I DON'T KNOW...

The happiest thing in this semester was I was chose to become "Teacher of the Day" by my lecturer... I was happy... The feeling was like sitting in a roller coaster... I was down and unsatisfied with my teaching but unexpectedly among all the presenters, I was the being chosen for this recognition... I never think of becoming a teacher, I was forced by my parents to enter this course... However, once I stepped into this course, I have to put all my efforts and try my best to achieve at least a pass for all courses... 


My attire as a teacher... Most of my friends praised me that I looked good in this attire and I looked like a teacher.. I am happy for the compliments.. I do look pretty everyday ><

What will I be in the future? Will I be a teacher? Again, the answer is

I DON'T KNOW




Friday, 11 April 2014

Bye Bye Holidays

Oh no.. Two more days to go, then I have to go back to hectic lifestyle.. More lesson plan to design, more micro-teaching to be done, tests, assignments, forums and bla bla bla..

There is always contradiction in humans.. I am not excluded.. When holidays are here, I felt is better to go back to university.. Because during holidays I am extremely free and bored... But when it times to go back to university, I hope to have more holidays... HUMANS = =

During the holidays I was so free until I spent my times by doing something I randomly do which is SELFIE >< And I came out with this mission of taking a photo with a particular theme in our Awesome Foursome group... Among all the photos we took in these few days, I think this photo and this mission is the best among all...


I like this picture <3 Although sometimes there are disagreements and misunderstandings among us, I like to be with them... Cute, innocent, helpful and funny... We can tease each other freely but not to Michelle yet (for me la)... I am quite worry to offend her... The consequence is really very serious oh... However, I know she is not harmful and evil... Only sensitive >< One more year to be with them... Hope our relationship can be maintained through awesome foursome after graduate...

And 


Time was spent with this fatty cutie ^^ My hair is growing longer and I am hesitating whether I should keep long hair or cut short it back to my usual mushroom head ^^

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

6th Anniversary

Well, supposed this blog should be written three days ago but I am too lazy to write >< Please forgive me... The idleness ambience surrounds me since it is a holiday for me now ^^

That day, we didn't do much.. As usual, I was the one who planned everything... So we decided to go to MAIU a Japanese Buffet Restaurant at Damansara Perdana...

This restaurant deserves unlimited likes from me.. The word "Buffet" here is different from my definition of "buffet"... I thought there are already cooked and prepared food on the table and we have to take it by ourselves...

But surprisingly, the food is freshly serve.. We ordered and the food are freshly made on the spot... It was like a Japanese restaurant rather than buffet... We ordered a lot of food....






My first time to try curry udon and cold noodle... I didn't take the picture of the cold noodle...


This curry udon was delicious... The noodle was chewy and the curry was saturated (nice)

We had a good talk and had fun of taking pictures... I think only me enjoy taking pictures... He became the photographer... Every 2/3 minutes, I requested him to take photo of mine... Hahaha... I made him has no time to enjoy the food... Looking back, time passes really really fast.. I can't use any word to describe the speed of time... I enjoyed the time to be with him.. I can be who I am, I feel free and relax... He is not only my boyfriend but he also acts as my supporter, my really best friend, my family, my consultant and my atm machine... Instead of boyfriend, I think I treat him more as a very best friend... I love the way we are communicating now... I know I am not a very good girlfriend... I am temperamental, crazy, embarrassing and expresses myself easily and straightly... But he allows me to be who I am... Seriously, I love him so much... I no need to think so much when I am with him.. I hope we have more anniversary to celebrate... 


THANK YOU & LOVE YOU




Sunday, 9 March 2014

Pray for everyone in MH370

In an overnight, Malaysia appeared in international news and top search in many search engines
due to the vanishing airplane MH370.. There are a lot of unofficial news, critics, posts and rumors about this incident... I do not know what was happening and why the airplane could disappear without any notice and signal... I do not know any single passengers in the plane... But I do hope that everyone in that plane is safe and our government could make a solid and unambiguous explanation to everyone...

There must be a reason behind this "disappearance"... I understand it takes time for the authorities to find out the evidence and the story behind it... However, the authorities have to understand the feelings of the victims' families' feelings...We as strangers also very worried about the safety of the passengers in this plane, so, how about the victims' families... They must be very devastated and desperate for news from the airline... Be transparent and clear in every evidence they found so that the victims' families will know the answers for thei worries and unsolved questions in their hearts...


Monday, 24 February 2014

FAMILY

Promised myself to update about my Chinese New Year trip to Langkawi two weeks ago but I failed to do so.. Okay... Another promise to myself: Give myself a longer duration which is by this month, I have to update about Langkawi island already...

Yesterday went to watch a Malaysian CNY movie "The Journey" with my family... Beyond my expectation, this movie is still a hit after a month of CNY... The ticket for this movie is very x10 hard to buy... We bought the ticket two days beforehand... I didn't watch another Malaysia movie "Ah Beng: Missions Impossible" but I watched "The Journey" with my family because:

  1. There were good comments about this movie.. According to the newspaper   
     and Facebook, this movie has reached 1070 millions box offices, which made 
     it the best selling Malaysia movie
  2. My mother wanted to watch this movie..


This movie was funny at the same time it brings meanings and lessons to me... I liked the acting of Bee's father... His acting was natural although this uncle was randomly selected from Malaysians who went casting for this movie and this was his first time acting... My mother, sister and I cried when it came to touching and meaningful parts... Amazingly, my brothers like this movie too... However, my father yawned and felt sleepy while watching this movie ==

I learned: 

1. Chinese parents never express their love to their children.. They used to express their care and love through strict teaching and beating... Unlike Western parents who never hesitate or shy to express the words " I LOVE YOU" to their children, hug and even kiss them.. Although they rarely or even never behave like Western parents, it doesn't mean they do not love their children.. They love too but the difference is the method they express love.. This reminds me when I was small, I disliked my parents... I even doubted whether they are my real parents or foster parents because they beat me and scolded terribly when I did wrongly... However, as I grow older, I realised what they did to me when I was young were right... Because the teaching method they applied, shaped me into a better person...

2. Appreciate your parents... As they are getting older, it shows the lesser the time you will have with them... Try to spend more time for your parents... Don't spend much of your time for other things in your life.. You will have more time for those things later in your life...I love my parents so much and my siblings as well... I don't know why sometimes I will come across my mind about the life without my parents and when my siblings have their own family... Separation will happen and tears shed... I know one day this will happen even though I dislike "separation" of this family happens... Therefore, before this happens, I will make myself spend more time with them by having more Family Days with them and take down the happy moments with them by having more family pictures ><

3. Compromise doesn't mean you lose... Compromise means you are the one who care and appreciate this relationship most and it brings happiness to everyone... When I was a teenager, I fought a lot with my parents especially my father... Even if they were right, I tried to fight until they were speechless which showed mine victory... Again, as I grow older, I didn't fight with them anymore... In contrast, no matter they are right or wrong, I will agree with them to make them happier...

Is all about family... To me family is very very important... Unbreakable bond.. My parents had me before married... They were poor and immature enough to have a child but they chose to give birth to me, raised me up and educated me with their best efforts... I appreciated that... To my siblings, I hope that even though one day when they will have their own family, we will still keep in touch, going out frequently and laugh together to maintain our family bonding...


            ~I LOVE YOU MI, BA, WAIKIT, CELINE AND WAI HOONG~




Saturday, 15 February 2014

My Valentine's Day



Hey.... Hey.. Ya... Yesterday was not only Western Valentine's Day but it was also Chinese Valentine's Day and the last day of Chinese New Year... According to the newspaper, it is rare for Western Valentine's Day to fall on the same day with Chinese Valentine's Day... If you want this to happen again, you have to wait for 19 years... That time, I will be 42 years old T.T I hate to talk about my age and don't want to think about it... Throw the "AGE" matter AWAY ~~~~~

Yesterday was a very happy day for me... Thanks for Mr. Egg for the surprise that he planned, prepared and gave to me <3


We randomly chose to dine in this cafe... We didn't want to go somewhere far to have our dinner... Hence, we went to Kepong and drove around to pick a good restaurant for this special day... And I chose this "Wolfgang Cafe"... The environment in this cafe is not bad but this cafe is not spacious with limited places to seat... It was packed when we arrived there and we waited for 20 minutes to have a seat...


Downloaded Photo Grid to edit these photos... These were what we ordered... I can't remember the names of the dishes that we ordered... However, I remembered that tastes of the dishes... Overall, I was satisfied with the tastes of  the spaghetti that we ordered... These portion and the taste of these two plates of spaghetti    were worth the price... But, the mushroom soup was tasteless,diluted and pricey... Compared to the mushroom soup at Plan b, this mushroom soup was incomparable... 

AND


Hahaha... I like this surprise so much... He didn't tell me or give me any signs that he bought a bouquet of flowers for me... I have to admit that he changed... He WAS an unromantic boyfriend...I had to give signs and remind him about Valentine's Day and what he should do in this day... But today I no need to do so>< I told him before that I dislike my boyfriend to give me flowers as the only gift in any special days... I didn't even demand flowers from him before the arrival of this day... So I expected that he will not buy me any flowers... When we were eating, an Indian man approached us. NOT to give me flowers but to sell sticks of roses... Without asking me, he told the man "Tak Mau" == From my heart, I felt quite angry... I even expressed my minor anger to him... Although, I said before that giving flowers is not a practical move, I hope for flowers also... How can he didn't even ask me and straight away rejected the man... I nagged for a while... After we paid the bill, he started his car and went to the back to open his bonnet... I was in his car... Then, he came with this bunch of flowers <3 I was surprised, touched and cried... I never imagined he will be this romantic... Mr. Egg, you really grow up jor !!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My Valentine gift : a pair of Nike sport shoes... This present was what I demanded... My first sport shoes in my life...


Thank you Mr. Egg for your everything yesterday...  I enjoyed and loved the sincerity and the the preparation you planned for me... I LOVE you...

Wanted to talk about my Langkawi trip but too lazy... Will talk about it after I am awake from yesterday happiness <3