The life as a teacher???

I have always started writing by "long time didn't update my blog..." The same for today and it is true that I have long time didn't update my blog.. Besides, most of my blogs talked about dilemma and anger.. So negative right? Same goes for today's blog..

Actually it should be something that I should be happy and grateful about.. But, I am not.. Instead I am worried and kind of disappointed.. I have passed my government teacher interview 😊 My parents will be happy about it.. Am I ready to become a teacher? I am not.. I am not ready to give full commitment and responsibility of becoming an official teacher.. But by reading my melody's recent post, I guess becoming a teacher is kind of fun and should be not that bad right? 🤔 Again I am in dilemma or even depression maybe.. Think of my life, I don't know where should I go, what should I do or become.. My life is directionless and meaningless.. Staying at home for the whole day and teaching home tuition is my life now.. Free, relaxing but most of the time restless.. I cannot believe that one day I am like this.. 20 something but still aimless.. What the hell..

I haven't tell my parents yet about this.. As the eldest, I always try my best to do the best and try to avoid making them worry about me.. I am useless, timid, always in dilemma😭😭 mr.egg suggested me to take master.. He said it will be a better option.. I have no money to take master, I am still on dept with the government and for now I don't even earn more than 15k per month.. What a sad story.. I am just jealous for those who have a firm direction and target in their lives.. Hope soon I will be able to find my life too

变了

哇。看下自己的blog，发觉已经有好几个月没写blog了。突然间写回是因为我得空了，有东西想说，可是不懂该说给谁听。
我失业了。可是家里没人知道。不敢和他们说这事实。怕他们会误解，怕他们担心，怕他们乱想。
不懂是不是和蛋先生在一起的时间久了，不懂怎么，最近都感觉很不一样了。到底我怎么了？他是个好男人，我害怕失去他，可是，同一时间，没像以前那么多话和他说了。我到底怎么了？
从我毕业到现在，感觉很多东西变了。变得很不同了。不只是我自己，我环境，我周围。我不喜欢这变化。可是变化不能避免，而且是唯一不变的事实。
我每天活得很不开心，很没有冲劲，很没有目标。
到底现在的我怎么了？😭😭😭

Ahhh 😤😤

A new year.. A new chapter.. A new beginning
Since it is a new year, Facebook is floated with positive vibes talking about new change and bla bla bla..

I can't tahan anymore.. I need a channel for me to express my frustration and anger...

Ever since I have started to work.. All my parents said is money, money, money... Come on.. I have started to work only one month.. All you asked is have you got your salary, how do you want to use your salary, please pay some of the bills.. I earn only rm2000 a month.. I have to save money also to pay for my ptptn and for my own usage.. You have bought houses for my two brothers but not me.. I don't mind how you want to spend your money for them, but please don't because you have to pay installment for this and that just because of my brothers and you feel financially burdensome, then come to me and ask me to pay this and that.. Your son has started to work for almost two years but did you ask him to pay this and that for you? Nope.. Your didn't.. Instead you said as parents you should help your children who just started to work.. But why not me?

Please just please.. Don't every time when you guys see me, the only topic you can ask and say is money.. Ask something else.. I feel burdensome, stressed and heartbreak whenever you did this to me

I'm back again

It has been two months since my last blog... In these two month, I have changed my work place... I am still working as a teacher... After these few months, I realised that I enjoyed working as a tuition teacher... Maybe education is really suitable for me... Seriously, working is more tiring than studying... My work is an easy job nothing much but I don't know why I feel tired everyday after work... My mentality feels tiring Zzzz...

Don't talk about this... Hey hey hey, I am going to Seoul next year with Mr. Egg... Hahaha... It will be our second vacation... Very anticipate for it... November is nothing much for me but October yes... Many things happened in October: My birthday + My convocation

Let's talk about my birthday... This year birthday was special for me because everything was a surprise and it was an effort of Mr. Egg... 

He decorated the cake by himself and brought me to have Italian dinner at Silver Spoon... I love this photo because it lets me feel warmth and love...

 I knew that he will bring me to Silver Spoon for dinner because he told me earlier that he wanted to bring me there but I don't know that he remembered that I have mentioned before that I like to eat ice-cream cake and hand made decorated the cake for me... I was so happy and I cried that day... It was hard to type out the details on that day here but everything is still vividly in my mind....

I was graduated last October... I was happy and glad that I was managed to complete my four years here... Actually when I think about it,seriously, I don't know how did I went through these hard times... I am kinda amazed myself... My perseverance and determination to complete a course that I do not like... Haiz... But I was disappointed that my parents did not manage to enter into DTC to watch my convocation on live... 

I was happy that all the most important people in my life which are my family + Mr. Egg came for my convocation... Life actually is really simple... What I really need is only my family and Egg... In this four years, I really need to thank Mr. Egg for his love, support and effort... Thanks for becoming my driver sending me to school and back home... Thanks for becoming my listener to listen to my everyday lives in uni, complaints, stress and assignments... Thanks for becoming my calmer to calm me down whenever I was stress and nervous... 

~You and my family give me more than I need~ I love you guys~Thanks~

Continue reminiscing Bangkok

Wow... It has been almost a month since my last post... Time, run away without waiting for me...
September, I have started working as a daycare center... After worked several weeks, my conclusion is: I always feeling tired after started to work but I have used to this feeling until I am numb...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         
                                                          
                                                         

To be honest, I realised that it is harder and tiring to teach primary and secondary students... They are annoying, lazy and naughty... Even, u scold them, it is no use at all... I prefer teaching small children/kindergarten... They are cute, innocent, funny and scare of me >< These are the students that I love to teach, play and mingle with... I have no problem facing them from 7.30-7.30 but not the primary and secondary= =

In July, I have been to Bangkok and Hatyai...
In September, I went to Malacca with Mr. Egg's colleagues...

Day 3 in Bangkok,

We went to Chatuchak again... We went there on Friday, but it was kinda empty and not happening... So we asked and according to a local there, Chatuchak is more happening on weekends... So we came back again... Wow... The food there were nicer than any other places...

I have never seen this in Malaysia...It was new to me and I like it... I tried Ice tea I think...

Chatuchak market is huge... We took at least half day at there to finish walking the whole market (I think we managed to walk the whole Chatuchak) and the weather was so hot... We need a lot of drinks and rests for rejuvenate...

We has this at Pratunam market at night... Thai tom yam... Actually I have tried several version of Thai Tom yam... But I have no idea which is the original tom yam... We ordered tom yam but they gave us "qing tong"... This tom yam is special because it was actually a "qing tong", if we want it to be tom yam, we have to add some special chilli... 

We asked Anna about Thai clubs and pubs... She said Ekkamai and Nana... Local loves to go to the pubs at Ekkamai, listen to songs and drink some alcohols while the foreigners like to go to clubs at Nana to drink and to find girls or "ah gua"... We chose to go to Ekkamai but at the end, we didn't make it because we were lost, it was getting late and we had to rush to take commuter...

My childhood... I had this at my grandma's house when I was still studying in primary school... Now, no more already T.T But I found this in Bangkok ^^

Mr. Egg's supper... Also known as Thai Bak Kut Teh... I prefer Malaysia Bak Kut Teh...

I feel tired now... I will continue again either later or tomorrow or soon maybe... Is raining now at my place... Raining means is time to take a nap... Today is Sunday and it is the time I can rest as much as I want... 

July Vacations

Let's talk about my July vacations.. I have always wanted to blog about my first vacations to oversea but I am too lazy to write.. Finally, I have the mood to blog about it today >< I have been to Singapore but that trip is not counted as an official vacation to oversea because I reached there at midnight and we went there for few hours to two casinos and came back to Malaysia in the morning.. I didn't even sleep that day and I was complaining and annoyed with this stupid trip to CASINOS where people like me who don't gamble and children were victims because we cannot do anything there since all the shops were not open yet and we can't even stay in the bus (I don't know why).. All we did was wandering the place and took photos with the statues = =

In just one month, I have been to two different states in Thailand: Bangkok & Hatyai... Yes.. I had my first time to other country with Mr. Egg to Bangkok by plane and my first time to other country with my family by bus...

The sky was so blue that day... Our flight is 8am flight, so we reached there on 4 or 5 something? I can't remember because it has been already one month and one week plus... I love to look at the planes at the balcony outside of KFC in KLIA 2... The view there is nice...

Once we reached there, we went to the information counter... Took a map and took a bus (as it is the cheapest way to reach Mo Chit station and we wanted to experience as backpackers)... Well, the buses in Bangkok was not as modern as the buses in KL but it is punctual and not crowded...

First lunch at Bangkok... We went to this restaurant where I found it in the internet and it was recommended by these people because it is a unique restaurant because it uses "condoms" as the theme of this restaurant... Although, it is really unique, the food there were pricey, not really delicious and small portions... Conclusion: Not worth it

But guess what, they gave every table two packs of condoms = = as gifts? regardless whether you are having meals here with your bf/gf/family/girls/boys... I guess these will be very useful for me after few more years >< But does condom have expired dates? Outside of this restaurant, there are four different sizes or brands of condoms for you to take and it is FOC... four big boxes out there with limitless of condoms for you to take...

Since, our check-in time was 3pm and it was still early, so we decided to go to a place where it will not take much of our time to walk there and unique place which is worth for us to pay a visit... so, we chose to go to Terminal 21... What is unique in this place is its toilets... There are 5 or 6 levels in this mall and each level of this toilet has different themes with a janitor in both female and male toilets to welcome you ^^ Bangkok has so many shopping malls compared to KL... Every station you go, you will see shopping malls everywhere... And regardless of which shopping mall you go either in Bangkok or Hatyai, in every entrance, there is security check... This is understandable because there were many bombing cases in Bangkok these few years... And the recent one was in this month at Erawan...

 

These are a few of the photos that I took at the toilet... They spent more money in decorating and designing their toilets... Why? I don't know...

The toilet bowl is more technological than the toilet bowl in One Utama or Pavilion... can you see the buttons on the left? You just press on the buttons to flush, clean your ** and to dry your **... 

Then, we went to Rod Fai Market by taxi.. I thought the taxi fee here is expensive but is not... It needs around 30 ++ minutes to reach here from our hostel but we paid only 100 bahts which is around RM 11++... Come on, in KL you pay more than that... And do you know that there is jam everywhere at Bangkok? These five days of vacation, I have never seen a smooth traffic at Bangkok regardless of where I went..

 Actually there is night markets everywhere in Bangkok... and the uniqueness of the night market in Bangkok are: 1. nicely arranged and 2. there are sections that sells antique or second-hand products and pets... Look at these antique cars... Mr. Egg loves them so much...

These are not candies but they are "kuih"... These "kuih" are made into the shapes of vege and fruits... We bought a box and it was delicious... The markets in Bangkok sell various products and the things in Bangkok are better than the things that are sold in KL in term of quality, design and the most important "price" too...

Ya... Mr. Egg bought this and we tried... Actually, it didn't taste like what an insect supposed to taste like... Crunchy and salty... Like chips that we eat... 

We bought the insects at a night market nearby our hostel before we went to Rod Fai Market...

 We ate a lot and shopped a lot at Rod Fai Market... And this maggie + seafood was the most expensive food that we ate at there... The seafood were not even fresh = = 150 bahts for one which is almost RM16++ FOR THIS SMALL BOWL OF SEAFOOD NOODLE...

The happiest thing is we bought something as a gift for us together... Nice drawing and I love it... 

There are many different types of public transports in Bangkok... The common transportation that we can also find it in KL are commuters and taxis... However, in Bangkok they have water transportation, tuk-tuk and motor service... I have tried taxi, commuter and water transportation in Bangkok and tuk-tuk in Hatyai but not motor... There are these orange vest men waiting to send people...

Oh my gosh... Almost everyday, we had THAI ICED TEA... Erm... No difference compared to the Iced Tea at KL but the iced tea at KL was so damn sweet....

Wow.. I like this and it can only be found in the street markets at Pratunam... Yes, the place we went on our second day at Bangkok... The food at the street markets at Bangkok are not only cheap but delicious... And it is not as unhygienic as what my cousin sister described (my cousin sister is a princess at home) Now, when I look at it, I feel like eating it...

I heard McD at different countries has different menus... So in Bangkok... They serve chicken rice and pork burger here... The chicken rice was delicious but the pork burger was no difference with other burgers....

From Chit Lom station, we walked to Siam instead of taking commuter... And on the way, we took random pictures... We even played chasing game and running game at the commuter with condition there is either no one there or less people there at the station...

Siam shopping malls at night.. The first picture we took together... Because we are travelling as couple, it is hard for us to take picture together... Usually, we help each other to take picture individually and mostly selfie if we want to have picture together... But selfie only able to capture picture with heads but not bodies... I hope to have full body pictures but Mr.Egg didn't want to trouble others to take picture for us... After several demands from me, finally, we had this picture ^^

Typical tourists... We went to this coffee shop " Mr. Jones Orphange" This place is small but the design is unique and great... I love backpacking with Mr.Egg because I can enjoy the freedom and a not-rushing vacation... Most of the time, I travel with my family... When travelling with family, usually as children, we can plan the trip... We just follow the adults all the time... We can't eat the things we want and we have to follow the adults to eat what they want... We can't spend as we like because as a family there are lots of spending... Travelling with family usually is a packed and rush travelling because adults in my family hope to have a worth for the price vacation... But travelling with another half is different... We walk and we eat as we like and I love to have not-rushing vacation... I don't like to rush too in my daily life... But there are also good things travelling with family and I enjoy family vacation <3

So tired and I managed to finish blogging about the first two days of my vacation at Bangkok... Long blog today... Recently still jobless and staying at home restlessly... Still thinking of what to do but future is too far for me to think... Live in the present, I have to... I might start finding jobs next month.... And blog again "tomorrow"? Hopefully

F......

I don't know what to write as the title of this blog but since I want to talk about my friends and future, I put "F" as the title ><

Well, I read Tien Mie's post... What she said is true... Friends do not necessarily have to talk everyday... After the last day we met, I kept on ensure that our whatsapp group "Mulagans" is active... Therefore, if none is talking, I will be the one to ask them "how are you?", "what is your plan today?" and etc... But after I read her blog, I realized what she said is right... We do not need to talk everyday to maintain our friendship... Our friendship will not change... Disturbing each other with lots of whatsapp messages sometimes will only make others to feel annoyed and disturbed...

Then I read Mel's post... Three things she mentioned in her blog that worth for me to think about it...

1. Travel? I like to travel too... I missed my recent vacations to Bangkok and Hatyai... Whenever I travel, I felt freedom in my soul and mind... I am free from problems and I immersed myself into happiness... But I have no $$ T.T Travel needs money... And I don't have companion T.T Some people enjoy travelling alone but not me... I prefer to travel with at least a companion... And I think the only one who will company me to the places that I want to go will be Mr. Egg... But Mr. Egg needs to work, no time for me...  

2. Talk about getting a job, I am now still jobless... Staying at home like a.... I don't know what to describe myself... Everyone in my family has something to do everyday but not me... A useless dumb who only knows to wake up and watch dramas everyday = = Maybe as what Mel said, I should have settle down and start to find a job... 

3. Marriage... Hahahaha... I don't know why... Maybe I have so much time at home, so suddenly one fine day, I thought about marriage... I remembered I was a very cold and insecure with our relationship... But now I have a little changes... I believe and hope to get married soon = = Is this normal for a female? or am I desperate? Gosh....

Anyway, I am so restless now at home doing nothing... I should prepare myself with the mindsets and attitudes of preparing to the grown up world