A diary for 11th of October, Thursday

Well, I made a promise to myself that i will write my diary every Tuesday and Thursday but I did not make it.. Sorry Pearl <3

So now, I have to make an amendment for my last Thursday blog... I have to recall back my Thursday memory... Ok.. So early in the morning on that day, I had English Proficiency class with Madam Uma and we had two sections, listening and speaking respectively. Well, I realized that listening was not an easy task. I have to pay tenfold of attention listening to the ascents of don't know which country were they from. It was tough for me to catch up what they said. But at least I was able to listen to almost..erm.. well.. 80% of the conversation, Maybe >< Then, we had speaking task.. In between, there was something unhappy incident happened.. I do not want to remind myself with the incident by writing down here.. Madam Uma said she liked the way we had our speaking, it was better than the first time of speaking.. Honestly, I were happy with her compliment.

Then, we had Dr.Julie's class... She taught us about the approaches.. I don't remember what approach she taught... Yat I remembered she gave us a task.. The task was hard.. She wanted us to change an extract to an extract that was understandable by children... I will never think about this task until next Tuesday discussion ^^

Improvement

Well, started from last Thursday onward, I am going to write my diary every Tuesday and Thursday. It is a must for me to write my diary for my future use in my assignment.

Today I was chosen by my friend, Wana, to do the teaching in the class. I was nervous because I did not do any preparation for this teaching section. When I was doing the teaching, I realized that I was not serious in the way I talked and the gestures I made. I felt that the situation in the class was awkward when I was teaching. The lecturer did not say anything about my presentation and the class was quiet and non-reactive. I was trying to make the environment better but I cant make it. I do not know that whether the lecturer did not make comment on my presentation was a good news or not. I realized that I have difficulty in listening to the ascent of the students from China. I cannot be like this always. So I decided to be well prepare in next class and I want to volunteer myself to be the teacher of the day.

After one year in this course, I realized that I enjoyed teaching. I want to be a teacher who really can convey the knowledge to my students and at the same time mold my students' personalities and attitudes. However, I know that to be a teacher that able to do that, I have to improve myself first. Almost every beginning of the semester I told my friends and myself to make enhancement, yet, at the end, I did not do anything to improve myself T.T SAD CASE..

In Dr.Juliana's class as usual~lectured. She also informed us that we are going to have assignment AGAIN this Thursday.. Tiring as expected at the beginning of the semester.

Diary?

Ok.. Well I am back again^^ There is one of my lecturers, Dr.Juliana asked us to do a diary everyday of my life.. So I think about my blog.. She gave us an assignment in which we have to do a reflection of our study life.. So to prevent lacking of ideas, she asked us to do a diary..

So today is Thursday.. The last day of schooling of the week.. I had my English proficiency class with Madam Uma in the morning.. We had listening activity today.. Then she showed us a video in Youtube to show us how a forum is conducted.. I was not anticipate to have my forum.. It is scary and dreadful.. In this forum, is a must for me to speak fluently and confidently in English.. Although the time limit is 5 minutes per speaker, it is like 5 hours for me.. T.T Later, I had my class with Dr.Juliana.. Writing something in class is the name of the course.. Well, we had presentation for her class today.. I wanted to perform well in her class, hence I prepared my speech and practiced thousand times  for my performance.. I was quite confidence for my presentation.. Yet, when I saw her face, I wanted to faint.. My heart beat very fast and my hands were trembling.. I told myself to not be nervous because I knew once I am nervous, all the efforts are gone.. Luckily, my presentation was not so bad.. Everything went smooth and none of them, even the top gang gave criticizes or comments until Grace stood up.. Her comment was that the questions we constructed were too easy.. Ya.. It was true and we accepted her points.. Dr said there is no coherence in our questions.. But yet overall is GOOD^^ So maybe if there are presentation next time, we will improve from our mistakes.. I was relieved once my presentation ended... Then, I had poetry class with Ms.Steph..

Alright.. As a conclusion, I felt that I am not as lazy as last time and I have the determination to achieve good CGPA in my exam.. I wanted to improve myself so that in future when I had my practical in school.. I can be a good teacher...

Time... Wait for me..

Well. Two more days to go and I have to go back to UM. Once i think about new semester going to start very very soon. I felt depressed T.T What I can think was ASSIGNMENTS, PROJECTS, TESTS, FINAL and RUSH. Haiz. It is quite sad when these things came across my mind once I thought about the new semester.

Yesterday midnight when I was online, I saw a post from my Form 6 classmate. She was our monitor and mother in our gang. She posted that she is going to marry soon and going to become a mother of a 2 months old baby. I was shocked and to be frank I really cannot accept this. This news was so sudden and came too fast. Well, life is unpredictable. Everything comes fast and sudden. As human, we have to know how to adapt and accept.

So at last, I accepted this and sincerely I wish them happiness forever<3 I love you Pei Ying.

UNDEFINED HAPPINESS

Hello blog.. It has been a long time i did not update you.. Anyway, i am now here to update you with my erm~~~~~well = UNEXPLAINABLE HAPPINESS...

First of all, i wanted to thank to my parents.. I do not care how you behaved to others; whether bad or good and how strict and fierce you were when i was a kindergarten, primary school and secondary school (after that period, my parents were giving me more freedom and permit).. I still love you and i will carry out my responsibility as a daughter... I promised..

Second, i wanted to thank to Mr.Tan (my soul mate, best friend and my another half)... Thank you for loving me... I knew you did a lot for me... You and I were once strangers and we became closer because of "LOVE"... You not only love me but you love my family too... I knew you care me more than many things... The things, food that i want even money.. You are willing to give it all to me within your capability... Thanked again for your abiding trust and  faith.. I love you too and I will not leave you whenever you encounter obstacles and failure... I promised

Third, i wanted to thank my siblings (they are eventually monkeys and pigs)... We were so close together even though we are growing up and slowly, step by step we will have our friends, own world, another half and your own family... Teasing, gossiping, laughing and sharing life experiences are the ways that make our bond remain as strong as a tighten rope that is prepared for a tug-of-war... No matter how others pull we will not break... I love you guys a lot and I will carry out my responsibility as the eldest... No matter what problems you guys encounter i will sure help with all my abilities... I promised

Last, i wanted to thank my aunties... We were so close and we do not have any gap generation that others may have.. We are like friends gossiping, shopping together and sharing... Thanks.. 

Last but not least, i am not whiny but seriously these people meant a lot to me.. None in this world is isolated... We are connected to one another... To  express my gratitude to these people, i do not have other ways except that i live my life to the maximum and be happy always (smiling with the teeth showed, eyes closed and as usual *peace*)

VOICE OUT

I am sorry.. Finally now only I understand the reason behind you to keep on enduring your family's behaviour.. I realized that I am stupid.. I always complaint to you that you do have have anger and do not fathom for your action of enduring your family even it is theirs wrongs... Now only I understand.. I understand that you do not want argument to happen.. I understand that even it was not your wrong none in your family will support you.. I understand even if you voice out with reasons and logic, your father will not stand by you.. Finally, you still have to be the one to say sorry.. This same goes to us... If we have disputement, even it is not your wrong, you still will be the one to say sorry first.. Because you appreciate our relationship and you do not want to lose me because of an argument.. I do not know how to compensate my action to you.. I felt uncomfortable in my heart.. Thank you for supporting me and be with me even your family dislikes me..

I promised to you that I will not longer demand you to point out your family's errors... I will understand you and stand beside you.. Hold your hand and walk together to confront all the uneasiness and sadness you face..

From this incident, I realized that voice out does not mean you will get the results that you want.. Sometimes voice out only worsen the situation..

Stress+happy+dissappointed= complicated

Well..  Me and my very good friend in UM purposely skipped a lecturer's class just to shop for our cultural night and hers' college dinner.. Expect myself will have a lot of small and big bags to bring back home.. Unfortunately, we did not buy anything except nail colors.. The clothes there are either too expensive or not suit our styles.. Yet we had a lovely time by having tea at Starbucks and chit chatting..

I ll like to have this time again with you tien<3

Start from today, I will not able to have good nights for many days... I received the news that I am going to have my final exam for Listening class next Friday and I am not well-prepared.. OMG... I need help from God to make the time goes slow and slow and slow.. So that I have amber of time to prepare.. These are the lists of my work: 1. TITAS literature review hand in to Nadia- 20/4
               2. Philosophy test- 25/4
               3. Pk's 2nd assignment + Listening portfolio- 26/4
               4. Listening final exam- 27/4
               5. Pk's individual assignment- 10/5
               6. Dr.Jessie's reflections- 22/5
               7. Listening project work- 24/5
Ok.. That's all for today.. Need to go to fight.. JIA YOU^^