Second Last Semester

I have just completed my CTES last week. This semester I needed to rate only three lecturers for three courses. I rated very high for zuwati’s class and artboy’s class because they deserve it. But not latifah’s class. Sometimes when I looked at her, I felt sympathy for her. She is actually a nice old lady who likes other old ladies, loves to share her life with others but she is not a professional lecturer. She said she went to study her master/PHd (I am not sure) in UK but her proficiency of English is just terrible and she said she has taught this course for many years but we can see that she has taught this course for many years as she was always not well-prepared, blurred and took online resources in front of us and taught us with that trusted? Or untrusted? resources in class. I mean her attitudes in class can be accepted if she was a new lecturer or she was a student like us BUT she is a lecturer with the name Dr. and she did many presentations in different countries like Istanbul. She even reminded us for several times to rate her high for the CTES as she wants to secure and maintain her job as a lecturer. As a student of her, what should I do? Should I pity her and rate her high? Or should I be honest and rate her low to ensure the quality of my juniors? At the end, I rate her high because she is my lecturer and I pitied her.

Three days ago I did two surveys from zuwati. Those two surveys I was being honest. I answered according to myself and not being affected by others. I entered into this programme because of my parents. I wanted to be a doctor and for so many years I put efforts in my study especially science subjects just to achieve my dream but at the end because of financial problem my dream continues to be a dream. I was angry at that time but I didn’t blame my parents because I am the eldest, study medical course is expensive and I can’t be so selfish using most of the money for myself and made my parents and siblings suffer because of me. Now I am good and surviving in this programme. I learned a lot and made many friendships in this programme. In TESL, we learned teaching theories + literature + English language. Among these three, I prefer literature the most, I hate proficiency class the most and I think teaching theories are the useless the most. I suggested this programme should teach more relevant and practical teaching skills like class management, ways to deal with discipline problems and teach students with the education policies and implementations such as PBS and PT3. When you start to teach like a real teacher in a school, you will know that all the theories that you have learned cannot be applied in the class. I love literature because I am amazed on how the words are able to bring an impact and give meanings to live and the words are being useful and impactful until now in this modern era. I love literature because it allows me to think from other’s perspectives and think deep about others. I love literature because of the lecturers I had in all these literature courses. They are beyond professional and they are just great. When they teach they are like sharing their stories and opinions about the literature and I love listening to their opinions and stories. I hope that I can be like them one day whose is able to think out of the box and the thinking that is produced is meaningful and relevant.  

I realized I am no longer close with my aunties(mother’s side). I mean there is still a bond between me and them but physically I am not close with them like how I was with them last time when I was young. I don’t talk with them frequently and I have no topic also to talk with them. I even rejected to go to Singapore with them although I have free transportation, accommodation and maybe food. I don’t know why but I felt reluctant. People change and leave. My fifth aunty who was once a stingy lady who loves to buy things with cheap price now changes to a wife and mum who likes to spend money on expensive stuffs and commented about the stuffs we buy with cheap prices. It is your choice whether to spend money on expensive stuffs or cheap stuffs. It is good and I am happy for my 5^th aunt to have this kind of luxurious life and having the super purchasing power. But I do not like it when she tries to comment and criticize on others with the cheap things that we buy == My 4^th aunt was the worst among all the aunties.  She slumped from someone who is like my 5^th aunty to someone who is now staying in a rented house with three small sons and with a run-away husband. I kind of like pity her but I can’t do anything because I have no money and is not my turn to speak for her in front of my aunties and my grandparents. It is better for a person to cry when a problem comes than being tough and strong. Husband has affair with a stupid and brainless bitch (I don’t say bad words but I am super angry so please forgive me) and now he is disappeared without any explanation and makes thing clear. I don’t know and I don’t understand. Maybe Charlie is right. “Things change. People leave. But life doesn’t stop for anybody.” (Yeah. I am reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower). So maybe it is right for her to being strong and tough although it is hurtful. 

Old love

This weekend was productive to me.. I made my first homemade kimchi at the same time cleaned and tidied up my room with my parents...

While cleaning my room, I found my primary and secondary school memories.. I found the letters that I used to write with my primary school best friend.. The love letter from a boy who tried to go after me when I was in Form 6.. The drawings and CNY cards from the students that I taught in daycare center.. Suddenly, feeling nostalgic.. These are the things that bring back my memories.. So I can't dispose them.. I will keep it in a cupboard and one day next year when my father forced me to clean my room again, the memories will be back..

The process of making my kimchi was dragged because of an unpredictable incident.. My grandmother was admitted to hospital.. My father received a phone call from my uncle that my grandmother was admitted to ICU while we were shopping for grocery.. We were all worried especially my father.. But luckily, my grandmother was just having a fever and probably infection after operation(hope not. need to know after the blood & urine tests). When my grandmother was admitted to hospital, I found love and care between my mother and my grandmother.. A traditional Chinese family where a mother-in-law always demands this and that from her daughter-in-law and nags and criticizes her for the thing that is not perfect from mother-in-law's perspective.. My mother as a common daughter-in-law will always not satisfies with my grandmother and always complains about her in front of my father.. She always always always says how bad my grandmother is when she was married to my father, how she asks her to do many many works when she stayed with her last time and bla bla bla.. Even though my mother always complains about my grandmother and my grandmother is really bad to my mother but today when my grandmother falls sick, my mother is the one who goes back & forth to see her, helps her to bathe & cooks for her..  Although I will not say it out, I love my mother and of course I will take care of her when she is old..

I heard a Chinese song in the radio while we were going to the hospital to see my grandmother.. The song says "As you grow older, you become lonelier" When a person is old, he/she behaves like a child.. Unable to walk, immune system becomes super weak, the bones are fragile, needs attentions, needs people to take care, needs people to help with daily routines like bathe.. The difference between the old and baby is baby is loveable & everyone is willing to take care of them while the old one everyone will give excuses like no time, no money and bla bla bla... Soon the old one is neglected... T.T

By the way, I have finished making my kimchi.. If this kimchi is a success, I am going to make again...
Pearly's Kimchi>> A new kimchi brand

My grandmother is healthy and she is getting better now.. I love my grandmother and I am closed with her.. She must lives longer to see me get married in 10 years time ^^

U.O.I.E.A Explorace

Explorace event was done finally..
One project done.. One assignment done..

Kok-K project to go.. Thesis to write.. Altogether 2 more things to be done..

It was a success yesterday.. Everyone had fun (I guess).. Especially the students from Catholic.. They were sporting, enthusiastic and looked better than my students (lucky Michelle ^^) 

The literature station that Gan & I were responsible.. It was a chaos for us.. Catholic students id not learn "The Fruitcake Special", so we had to come out with another plan.. Some students were weak, therefore, we have to be linear and gave extra time to all the groups.. I taught my 4B students this short story and I thought they will do well in my literature station compared to the other groups.. Who knows, they were worse than the others.. One of the 4K group was the best among the others and they did well in one shot without errors.. GOOD JOB ^^

My students.. Thank you for their help and come to my event.. But at the same time, I felt sorry for them as well because I did not mingle with them and talked to them.. In contrast, Mich and Tien did a good job as they really talked and mingled very well with their students.. Haiz.. I also do not understand why I have this barrier in my heart and I felt that i cannot overcome this barrier and mingle with them like how i mingle with my friends... I am really sorry... You guys are supportive.. I appreciate it although I did not express my appreciation on my face and behaviours..

This year, I read less book but I eat more..

Next year, I have to start to enjoy reading and drink coffee..

Hey hey hey... Not forget to mention that my brother has used his first wage to treat us dinner last Saturday at Nandos... A good dinner...

And went to OU with my sister and her friends last Friday.. She went out with her friends while me walked and shopped alone.. Padini had 3 days sales..

16个夏天

刚看完“16个夏天”这部连戏剧。
已经有了应该有9年了每看过台湾连戏剧。

人中是错过而后悔。
人中是爱猜测爱自以为。
人就是怕被拒绝所以宁愿自己乱想自己无私乱想。
就是因为怕结果不理想爱猜测爱自己做推论，所以往往就是错过了，后悔了。

我在想如果我失去了我最爱的人，我也是会碰亏，寂寞。
人中是不会感恩，所以上帝才要把时间走的那么快。
时间要不走的那么快，我想很多人都会过的很颓废。

昨天爸妈去泥泊尔。
和那两个小的去了jusco。打机，买晚餐的材料，逛逛。
然后上课去。
赶着回家，煮泡菜汤给了那几个小的和蛋先生吃。妹妹就煮了韩国sushi吃。
好成功的一个晚餐。感觉好开心哦。
接下来这几天会更好。

Go for IT LOH

For two consecutive days, I went to Midvalley.. This was the first time in my life to go to Midvalley for so two times in a week.. Spent quite a lot T.T

I have this friend, who is to me, clumsy, innocent and kind..
These few days, quite frequent, I hang out with her and I started to realize a lot of things about her..
She has personalities which are totally opposite from me..

She is a happy go lucky person which I am not.. I will feel sad and angry if something goes wrong with what I wanted or planned.. But it takes me only one day to be happy back.

She is a person who thinks an action, has a desire or decision, she will instantly do it or achieve it without further consideration or thinking.. I am not.. When I want to carry out an action, I need to think of many things.. Which is to me, a quite bad behaviour.. Worries or think too much makes you further away from your dream.. Once you started to consider a lot and come out with results or questions that might or might not happen, you will start to afraid to make the first step.

She is a person who will not think negatively.. I will.. When I wanted to do something, I always think for the worst results and what should I do if the worst result happens.. She told me failure or success of a matter we cannot control it.. The only we can do is work hard and do the best for it..

When watching horror movie, she dares to listen to the horror sound effects with closed eyes but I am not.. I cannot listen to these sound but I dare to open my eyes and watch the movie.. hahaha (SO PROUD)

Yes, she is clumsy, messy, innocent and blurred but I guess she is happier than I am.. She is able to show me something that I don't have and I should learn from her..


Thanks hotty ><

I realized...

Today is the last day of September..
In a blink, 2014 nearly reach the end... Three more months to go and I am going to celebrate New Year again.. Sigh again for the speed of time..

I have learned Korean for almost a year and I learned this language from three Korean exchange students including this new teacher.. From Seulgi to Cha Ryeong from Cha Ryeong to Hyeong Min, I realized Cha Ryeong is the best tutor among the other two.. She is more friendly and taught better than the other two..

I realized can't stand hunger.. If I am starved, I will feel headache and nausea.. I love food but I do not hope to become fat.. Contradiction occurs = =

I realized I can't poop at other toilets except at the toilet in my house.. I am scolded by Mr.Egg and my friends for my bad habit of bearing the poop from coming out rather than go and poop it out..

Recently, I had just finished watching "It's Ok, That's Love".. A unique Korean drama because this drama is unlike the usual Korean drama that we watched.. It is not about dying, crying, and pathetic love but it is about human psychology.. The importance of family' s influence and treatments to children in their childhoods.. The different types of psychology that exist in this world.. Going to see psychologist doesn't mean that you are abnormal but instead they make you feel comfortable by chatting with them and expressing out your anger and depression..

I realized I am kind of admired the main actor in this drama... He is handsome and charming unlike the usual flower boys in Korea..
I realized I am addicted to the OST in this drama especially the English songs used in this drama..
I realized I am started to have interest in learning or get to know more about human psychology..

Many things to realize in this month...
By the way, my 30-day exercising that I posted in previous blog has officially FAILED T.T

20 facts about myself

Come out with "20 facts about yourself" is a viral challenge now in Instagram...
So I have two friends here who nominated me to do this challenge: My best friend and Michelle ^^

It was really a challenge for me.. It took quite a long time for me to think and come out with these 20 facts.. The worst thing is, it took me 5 times to re-upload the photo with the 20 facts to Instagram ==  The first time I failed to upload and I lost all the 20 facts that I have typed T.T So the second time I tried to upload the photo, I was smart... I copy all the words that I have typed.. So if this time, I was unable to upload but I have saved the facts.. Hehehehe...I found this challenge is quite interesting and attractive.. It really helps me to think deeply about myself..

This was what I came out with..

20 facts about myself:

1. I love to drink coffee but I have zero knowledge about coffee.

2. I love Kang Gary from Running Man. I love his personalities and appearance based on what I saw in Running Man but I do not like most of his songs.

3. I love to eat spicy food especially tom yam.

4. I put water to my rice if I eat petai.

5. I am lazy. I want to be slim but I am lazy to exercise. I love to read but it takes months for me to finish a book or novel.

6. I dislike add math and physics. I hate calculations.

7. I have birth marks on my back left bottom. I call it my countries because these birth marks look like countries on a map which is my skin.

8. I love my friends and Mr.Egg but I believe that anything can happen and change in friendship and relationship except family bonding.

9. I am quiet and shy to strangers and new friends. It takes times for me to show you my true colours (crazy, funny and nonsense girl) to them.

10. I act childishly but I think maturely. 

11. I love to mingle with kids rather than adults. Because to me, adults are more complicated.

12. I love science especially biology. I am amazed on how the organs and systems in humans, insects and animals function.

13. I am conscious with my belongings or ODC(maybe?). I have to put my belongings to the right place after I have used it.

14. I do not hold grudges for long. I am unable to angry with someone for more than one day.

15. I like to wear stripless bra.

16. I have pimples and scars (from pimples) on my face.

17. I have oily face and hair. So when it is afternoon, my face and hair start to become oily.

18. I want to feel the feeling and experience of pregnancy but I am not eager and ready to be a mother or wife.

19. I don't think I am fertile as I suffer with period pain every month.

20. I think about death and growing up when I am having insomnia.

Actually, there must be more than 20 facts about myself but it is just that it is hard for me to think. Maybe two more which are: I like to pose "peace" in almost all my photos & I love to cut my fringe straight and above my eyebrow level.

My new challenge.. Since my grandparents said I am fatter.. Now I want to be determined and challenged myself with this 30-day exercising challenge... Hope after 30 days, I am able to see some changed to my body ^^