UNDEFINED HAPPINESS

Hello blog.. It has been a long time i did not update you.. Anyway, i am now here to update you with my erm~~~~~well = UNEXPLAINABLE HAPPINESS...

First of all, i wanted to thank to my parents.. I do not care how you behaved to others; whether bad or good and how strict and fierce you were when i was a kindergarten, primary school and secondary school (after that period, my parents were giving me more freedom and permit).. I still love you and i will carry out my responsibility as a daughter... I promised..

Second, i wanted to thank to Mr.Tan (my soul mate, best friend and my another half)... Thank you for loving me... I knew you did a lot for me... You and I were once strangers and we became closer because of "LOVE"... You not only love me but you love my family too... I knew you care me more than many things... The things, food that i want even money.. You are willing to give it all to me within your capability... Thanked again for your abiding trust and  faith.. I love you too and I will not leave you whenever you encounter obstacles and failure... I promised

Third, i wanted to thank my siblings (they are eventually monkeys and pigs)... We were so close together even though we are growing up and slowly, step by step we will have our friends, own world, another half and your own family... Teasing, gossiping, laughing and sharing life experiences are the ways that make our bond remain as strong as a tighten rope that is prepared for a tug-of-war... No matter how others pull we will not break... I love you guys a lot and I will carry out my responsibility as the eldest... No matter what problems you guys encounter i will sure help with all my abilities... I promised

Last, i wanted to thank my aunties... We were so close and we do not have any gap generation that others may have.. We are like friends gossiping, shopping together and sharing... Thanks.. 

Last but not least, i am not whiny but seriously these people meant a lot to me.. None in this world is isolated... We are connected to one another... To  express my gratitude to these people, i do not have other ways except that i live my life to the maximum and be happy always (smiling with the teeth showed, eyes closed and as usual *peace*)

VOICE OUT

I am sorry.. Finally now only I understand the reason behind you to keep on enduring your family's behaviour.. I realized that I am stupid.. I always complaint to you that you do have have anger and do not fathom for your action of enduring your family even it is theirs wrongs... Now only I understand.. I understand that you do not want argument to happen.. I understand that even it was not your wrong none in your family will support you.. I understand even if you voice out with reasons and logic, your father will not stand by you.. Finally, you still have to be the one to say sorry.. This same goes to us... If we have disputement, even it is not your wrong, you still will be the one to say sorry first.. Because you appreciate our relationship and you do not want to lose me because of an argument.. I do not know how to compensate my action to you.. I felt uncomfortable in my heart.. Thank you for supporting me and be with me even your family dislikes me..

I promised to you that I will not longer demand you to point out your family's errors... I will understand you and stand beside you.. Hold your hand and walk together to confront all the uneasiness and sadness you face..

From this incident, I realized that voice out does not mean you will get the results that you want.. Sometimes voice out only worsen the situation..

Stress+happy+dissappointed= complicated

Well..  Me and my very good friend in UM purposely skipped a lecturer's class just to shop for our cultural night and hers' college dinner.. Expect myself will have a lot of small and big bags to bring back home.. Unfortunately, we did not buy anything except nail colors.. The clothes there are either too expensive or not suit our styles.. Yet we had a lovely time by having tea at Starbucks and chit chatting..

I ll like to have this time again with you tien<3

Start from today, I will not able to have good nights for many days... I received the news that I am going to have my final exam for Listening class next Friday and I am not well-prepared.. OMG... I need help from God to make the time goes slow and slow and slow.. So that I have amber of time to prepare.. These are the lists of my work: 1. TITAS literature review hand in to Nadia- 20/4
               2. Philosophy test- 25/4
               3. Pk's 2nd assignment + Listening portfolio- 26/4
               4. Listening final exam- 27/4
               5. Pk's individual assignment- 10/5
               6. Dr.Jessie's reflections- 22/5
               7. Listening project work- 24/5
Ok.. That's all for today.. Need to go to fight.. JIA YOU^^

Again & Again

The news of her is still going on and on.. It seems like everyone has a problem with her.. Headache.. Can I stop hearing news and complaints about her?? I truly hope that she will know what is amiss with her and will change to a better and likeable person.. No one on Earth is born to be bad.. Yet people change because of the environment and surrounding.. Although people do change, we change to better not worse...

Today, my beloved, Liza gave me the fan she won during Inia's presentation.. I was so happy because i really need a fan in UM.. the weather is so hot nowadays. Yesterday, I was worried about my pendrive.. I lost it.. Yet Gan helped me to find back.. Thanks Gan..

That's all for today^^

Life is UNPREDICTABLE

When I was happily having my dinner with Mr.Tan, I received a phone call from my mother.. Her voice was sad.. I was wondering what happened to her.. She told me that my cousin sister, Ah Ying has passed away.. I was shocked and my heart was so painful.. How come?? I kept asking this myself.. It was only a month ago I met her.. I still remembered the last time I saw her was during CNY in Peneng.. We were talking and had fun during the whole vacation.. She also bring her bf along in this vacation.. It was just like only yesterday everything happened.. Although we rarely meet, yet when we meet we can chat for whole night.. She was just only 18 years old girl.. She has not enjoyed her life yet.. Even half of her life she has not gone through.. Seriously, I cannot accept this.. 

Death is a process that everyone in this world has to go through.. Death is not scary but the most scary thing is your loved ones will never ever able to see,touch and talk to you anymore.. They may have photo or memory of you.. But how long can these last?? Human needs a concrete touch.. The impact of your death was very very very strong.. The sadness is not merely few days, it may be forever.. Can you imagine if I was so sad about my cousin's death, then how about her mother,father and sister?? Their sadness cannot be imagine and describe..

Death is unpredictable.. Even my cousin sister will not know that she will die today.. Merely just because a faint, she died.. Hence, we have to appreciate the presence of every person beside us especially our family and the dearest one.. We may not know when they will leave and vanish in your life..

According to Buddhism(I do not know is real or not), she or he will never know that she has died in the first 7 days. Hence, she or he will remain the tasks she or he does everyday as usual.. Where will she be now?? Is she happy?? Did she know she has passed away?? My brain was puzzled by these questions.. Anyway, I am very sure that she is now in heaven and God surely will take good care of her.. Because she was very nice and kind..

Seriously, I will miss you Ying.. You are always my cousin.. God, I have a request to you.. Can you please take good care of my cousin?? She was weak and kind..(I think God will)

R.I.P YING

OK.. How should I start now?? Erm.. ok.. Finally I am done with the philosophy assignment.. I should be on the bed sleeping and dreaming.. Because of the assignment i have to stay up to burn the midnight oil..Yet I CANNOT close my eyes and SLEEP after the assignment has been done.. For the seek of my health, I forced myself to sleep.. Turning to the right and turning to the left.. Then all of a sudden I thought about the blog that Tien Tien helped me to create last Thursday.. 

Yesterday night, I went to watch "SEAFOOD" with Mr.TAN.. This cartoon movie was quite nice.. At least, I did not fall asleep watching this cartoon.. This was the first time I watched cartoon movie after I have "officially" grown up.. I felt that it is not worth to spend RM 20++ to watch a cartoon.. I preferred ghost movies, humor movies or action stories.. This movie was a cartoon movie.. Hence, it was eventually funny and it showed how strong and capable animals were in order to save their next generation.. I heard my sister said that this movie was a production from Malaysia.. 

Since I am in insomnia now, I think I will continue with my "Things Fall Apart".. I have not finish reading the whole novella yet.. One more day to go.. Then tomorrow is the day for Prose 2 test.. I am nervous.. Haiz.. Another sleepless night T.T

And I want to thanks Mr.TAN to sacrifice his date with his friends just to accompany me to watch movie.. THANKS alot<3 

My first blog

Hi... This is my first blog.. Thanks to Tien Tien to help me to create this for me<3 And thanks.. Gan for being so irritating and noisy beside me like a fly...