21/3/2013 Thursday

The feeling of when your cells are torn apart from your skin...You wanted to cry yet a tear is not able to come out from the corner of your eyes... This feeling is more tormented than the feeling of pain... To be honest, I cannot explain to you this feeling if you asked me what feeling is this... But I experienced this feeling today...I wanted to perform and show my best to act out the character as Oedipus but at the end I felt myself failed to do it... I was nervous before the show and I wanted to act with expressions and fluent English... But T.T I saw my lecturer's expression was like "what is she talking about" and she asked for the script from the girl beside her.. I knew what her expression meant... She cannot understand my dialogue.. How come I can never speak fluent English???? I do not expect myself to speak like a banana or foreigner but I hope to speak fluent and well-structured sentence... Why am I such a failure?? After 2 years, what have I learned??