Wednesday (3/4/2013) + Thursday (4/4/2013)

Well, I am officially finished reading the novel “Life of Pi” after two months. After finished reading it, I was in a moment of exuberance and the first person who came into my mind after I finished reading this book was my best friend. I was eager to share this news with her. She always teasing me with the time I spent to read this book which compared to her in two months(If I am not mistaken) she has finished reading almost 5 to 6 books. I still remembered the purpose of me of buying this book was because of the movie as well as the trend of that time. Seriously, I learned a lot from this book. No offense but I learned 6 lessons: 

1. Nobody can prove God’s existence yet God = love which is not concrete yet it is a feeling and trust. 

2. Gods or religions are the last resource people will seek for if they were not able to solve their problem. 

3. Environment has the ability to change a person’s behavior or habit. 

4. Fear is the most powerful foe in human’s life while courage is the only one that can defeat fear and bring  

    individual to success. 

5. Not everything in this world can be proved or witnessed by your own pair of eyes is true. Sometimes 

    believe is the thing that determines the matter to be true or false. 

6. Feelings or imaginations in humans are powerful as it is able to change human’s mentality or perceptions  

    toward a topic. 

Next, I would like to COMPLAIN about my fifth anniversary which fell on 4th of April. Well anniversary supposed to be ROMANTIC + HAPPY... Did he know that how excited and anticipated I am towards this special day? I did not hope for him to buy for me something really expensive but I want his sincerity.. But for me the anniversary ended with well maybe only HAPPY... I cant deny that he is a good boyfriend and a good man as well but he is definitely 100% not romantic at all... Well, I can only comfort myself with the saying that "NOBODY IS PERFECT" although I am really angry with this... No cards, no flowers, no presents... WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MR.TAN??? And we used up almost an hour to decide on the restaurant and the type of dinner we wanted to go... At last, we went to a western restaurant which serves Germany food.. Forgive me, I forgot the name of the restaurant.. Anyway, we did have a "nice" night.. I seriously hope that he will know what to do for next year anniversary celebration...

Reality

Have you ever felt the feeling when there is nobody who wants you and accepts you as a part of them and at the same time you are desperate for someone else there to help you and accept you? Have you ever been treated unfairly? Have you ever been betrayed by a friend who is not willing to talk to you about a problem that you are facing personally instead she tells you the problem through the mouth of an authority? I can tell you that this feeling is terrible and unacceptable.. Is the feeling that you are being stabbed by the person you like and trusted the most from the front... You cant believe it but at the same time you witness it by your own eyes.
To be frank, I can accept the scolding and punishment from them as this is really my wrong.. I felt sorry and guilty for my behaviour.. I can also slowly accepted their unfairness towards me as I remembered one of my Form 6 teacher told me that "It is impossible for the God or world to be justice... If the world is fair and square, there will be no poverty or social classification in this world." Hence, I don't blame them to be unfair to me even though there must be a number of people are behaving like me and I do not want to pull others into the hot water... The only thing that I cannot accept is that why they cant tell the problem to us personally?? Is this a severe matter?? Do you think we are still children or teens?? Do you think you are older than us or having a higher position than us?? You are nothing.. We are course mates.. If you want us to change group, why cant you tell us personally?? We are willing to change our group... They were the one who made the matter to be so serious.. Thus, do not blame us to be mean too... However, don't worry.. I have my principles in my life.. If the person treated me good, I will treated her back the double of her kindness... Yet, if the person is bad to me, no worries, I will do nothing to her but I will feel disappointed with her.. I do not believe that by talking bad about others is able to raise up my reputation.. It is not worth for me to give them free publicity to promote their true personality to the world... One fine day, people will get to know your truth personality by their own pair of eyes..
I cannot deny that telling your problem to your best friend is really making your mood better. However, if you tell your problem to more than one person, the problem is getting worsen... Hence, I do not like to tell my problem to everyone except to my family, Mr.Egg and my best friend now... Lastly, I want to say thank you to the people who lent us hands... In return, I will do my best to help your group to achieve an A... I want to prove to the one who doesn't want me that is their loss to kick me out... Sit back and watch the miracle until your jaws drop...HAHAHAHAHAHA

21/3/2013 Thursday

The feeling of when your cells are torn apart from your skin...You wanted to cry yet a tear is not able to come out from the corner of your eyes... This feeling is more tormented than the feeling of pain... To be honest, I cannot explain to you this feeling if you asked me what feeling is this... But I experienced this feeling today...I wanted to perform and show my best to act out the character as Oedipus but at the end I felt myself failed to do it... I was nervous before the show and I wanted to act with expressions and fluent English... But T.T I saw my lecturer's expression was like "what is she talking about" and she asked for the script from the girl beside her.. I knew what her expression meant... She cannot understand my dialogue.. How come I can never speak fluent English???? I do not expect myself to speak like a banana or foreigner but I hope to speak fluent and well-structured sentence... Why am I such a failure?? After 2 years, what have I learned??

Growing up

Although physically and mentally I am deteriorating since I entered UM but honestly I felt that I have grown up cognitively... I am 23 now and I have 7 more years to end the age beginning with the number 2... I do not want to waste my 20s with all the nonsense and ludicrous.. I should bring my life to the peak of the mountain and do something to enrich my experience and knowledge.. Hence, I came out with the "must-do-list" with my best friend... I wanted to become a good friend and spread the positive influences to her.. So I asked her to come out with this list too.. They are six things I should done it by this year.. These six things to me are minor matter but they are something that will affect my future in the aspect of appearance and health.. I am contented with my lists but I wanted to add one more thing to my list which is learning either guitar or violin by this year... Wish me good luck..

Lost

Well, no class again for tomorrow.. Let me think, how many times I have skipped classes? This is the fourth week of my semester and I skipped for only two classes so far which are Research class and Unit class(if he counted I absent tomorrow).. I think my life is too easy.. Yet I like to complain that my courses are hard, the assignments are demanding and money is not enough for me to spend, etc.. These are nothing if I were to use all these complaints to compare with others who take medical course or accounting course, the assignments and courses are far more difficult than mine and of course for those who stays far away from their parents and money to them is more important than mine.. Why am I so demanding and not appreciate with what I have now?? ~SHOOT ME~ 

What is my problem now?? I have no problem.. All the problems I encountered eventually were not problems.. They are something that I created meaninglessly in my life.. My assignments actually are easy, the courses I took are easy-going with the nice and kind lecturers I have and the money I have is enough for to spend + I have my parents' financial support.. I should be satisfied.. YES~~ I should... Sorry Chui for asking you to give me your voucher which is the same as asking you for your money..I should not do this right?? Everyone has the same amount which is fair and square.. Since I have used mine, I should not ask for more.. Even though she may not going to use her voucher, is her right for her either to throw, waste or give her vouchers to anyone she likes.. I should not do that.. Sorry

OK.. Back to the topic.. I am not lost.. I decided to use RM200 every month for shopping and the remainder of my book vouchers to buy books that will upgrade my cognitive thinking and personality... 

~~YES... KEEP ON GOING & ENJOY YOUR LIFE~~~

27/2/2013 Wednesday + 28/2/2013 Tuesday

Well, I wanted to update my blog yesterday but the feeling of idleness overwhelmed me. Hence, I give up writing...

Refreshing my memory about yesterday, well, the most remarkable event was the outing with the maniacs which included Grace, Wana, Nadia and of course my lovely "second messenger" a.k.a Tien. Gan was excluded from the name "maniac" because he was quiet and isolated in our outing. This was also my first time to go out with Grace and Wana.. Out of my expectation, our outing was not awkward, yet enjoyment and laughter appeared. We went to Ampcord Mall, a place where WAna and Gan have never been before. We had Tien and my favorites which are McD and Starbucks. We went to Book Access too. I spent all the money in my purse and a voucher worth rm50. Now, I left only RM 150 book vouchers. I need to spend these money wisely because to be frank, I am not a book worm. I seldom use my money to buy books, instead I will use them to but clothes>< Not forget to mention, my best friend Tien was scolded by our proficiency teacher because of her very bad habit, which is, playing phone during lesson. hahahaha

OK. Back to today happenings. Well the lecturer for Language Learning is so weird and always making me speechless in his class. He is either too fast in reading his notes or dismisses the class what ever time he likes. Today, I went to the class early with full of preparation to record and catch up his notes. Unexpectedly, he dismissed us within 20 minutes if I am not mistaken with the reason that we were not asking any questions related to the topic that he wrote on the whiteboard. I mean even a professor needs to be well prepare before he goes to any conference or meetings. Then, how about us?? He didn't inform us beforehand to do research or preparation about these topics, so how was he going to expect us to ask him questions related to these topics?? All I can say is, his salary is easy to earn. No wonder many students failed his class in previous sem and sem. Then about PTPTN loan was making me speechless as well. Why can't the government standardize the loan that they bank in into our account every sem?? Sometimes more than RM 1000 and sometimes less than that... Luckily, I was alert. It was impossible for my account to have more RM2000. As what I predicted, they haven't deduct my overall fee yet. But there is one thing that I should be grateful is the remainder of my money after deduction is more than RM1000...

The last thing I wanted to talk about is my relationship with my friend, Gan. He seems to be so far away from us. Why is this happening? Seriously, I have no idea. I felt that he is weird and annoying. Ya. It is true that as a friend we should accompany each other but going to kps withdraw money requires our company as well? He purposely chased us because he wanted us to company him to kps to withdraw money? Is kps dangerous? No, even if it was, it will not be robbery, is may be patty cases. I think he can protect his properties and himself. He can go back to his hometown alone why can't he go to kps himself? Does he withdraw more than rm100000? NO. What is my functions there? My duties are to stand there and panting. Haiz, seriously, I hope that he can be more brave and stronger physically and mentally. He can't hope for our companions until the end of his life. However, Tien is able to do so because she is single and they have the very low possibilities to couple up. Hope he will change to a better person in future.

22 February 2013

I thought that I will not need to attend Friday classes throughout my whole study years.. For three consecutive semesters, I had no classes on Friday.. I was so happy for this.. Friday eventually is a sleeping day for me.. However, this semester, it is mandatory for me to attend Friday class.. I was reluctant to attend this class but I was glad that I was able to register for this class.. I cannot evade to register for this class.. In any one of the remaining semesters, I will have to enter this class too.. If so, I would like to attend this class with my good friend...Haiz, sad Friday T.T

In the library, my friend and I were trying to arrange and plan for our future semesters.. In the process, we realized that we had studied in UM for already two years... Time passes in a blink of eyes without our acknowledgement... And we found out that we learned nothing from the course but we learned something not related with the course.. Is this something we should be proud of?? I dont know.. I only know that we cannot regret for our doings at the past... Be happy of who we are and be satisfy of what we have now..

              ~BE HAPPY, NO WORRIES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^^