Heartbreak

Today I scolded my class.. The "scold" I am talking here is not the fierce I used to have to my 3k but this "scold" came from my heart and it really very painful.. When a person even scold also don't want to make the effort to scold, it means the person is really suffered from heartbreak and has give up on that particular person.. So, I scolded them because I care.. I see hope on them.. I felt happy to see that at least there is this class who are good behaved and i should teach them well although my english, i know myself is not competitive.. I am not interested in teaching but since I am here as a teacher, I should do my job as a teacher well.. But i felt regret and unhappy with myself.. I think I myself was the one should reflect on myself.. I am so dissappointed with myself.. I am not suitable to become a teacher.. Was I wrongly scolded them? Was my teaching uninteresting? I don't know what they want.. I am failed.. I want to rest..

Tous les Jours

Wanted to spend my Sunday meaningfully and happily for these 10 weeks... I dislike Sunday... Monday will be the day for me to go back to hell (SMKBB)... Therefore, today, I suggested to go to eat cakes and drink coffee (only food can make me happier. Nowadays, my preference to shop lessen) at this place which I hope to go for quite a long time.. Finally, I had the chance to eat here... Tous Les Jours... It takes almost 30 minutes for us to search for this place...

The decoration of this coffee shop is elegant and classic...

I like the transparent mirror...

Erm... The cakes and macaroons here are expensive but the prices of the breads here are reasonable... Personally, I do not like this cake.. Too sweet... But this cake is the recommended cake in this shop.. The coffee is so so to me but to mr.egg, he likes the coffee here.. I like the apple crumb and macaroon <3

Macaroon = RM 4.50 per piece

Cake = RM 10.50

Blueberry yoghurt something something = RM 8.50

Apple crumb = RM 4.50

Cold macchiato and cold cappuccino = RM 9 each

KL roads and road signs are confusing and in a mess... People walking around without looking at the cars ==

Environment is good but noisy... I prefer quiet and peaceful coffee shop... 

The decorations here are elegant and classic.. I like it...

Happy times passed so fast...

Suffered times pass so slow T.T

First week of practical

Okay... So here goes my first week of my practical teaching... Glad and thankful... For these three days, many things happened but for one thing which I am very sure is I am mentally exhausted... Looking older and many cells in my body have dies... Nervous and challenges come everyday.. No happiness or laughter existed during these three days in the school.. However, the good thing is we have less classes either to teach or to relieve and the teachers there are very good, kind and helpful...

Just on the first day itself, I had this session problem with Grace.. To me, Grace is really an evil... Put me through this and made me as the evil in this problem... She should know beforehand that she has to think about the transportation and accommodation during practical... If I am assigned to the evening session, I will force myself to like it although I do not want evening session... Yat, who has no right to talk about me, also doesn't want to drive his car for HIS Grace's convenient... Hello, don't you consider my difficulties too??

Second day, I was happier as I successfully carried out the ice breaking activity with my English class in 4B... From this ice breaking activity, I realised that my students are active, funny and some are sensitive... Although that day, there were two students who were not cooperative but at least I managed to control the class...

Today is the third day, I had literature with 4B... Because lacking of time, I decided to reuse my lesson plan which I did in Pn.Zuwati's simulated teaching class and I altered the lesson plan a little bit... Well, overall the lesson was successful as the students are quite obedient and listen to me... The only problem is the students are quite passive... Only some are active... But after listened to Mr.Egg, I will not carry out creative and interesting activity every lesson... I am a teacher who is supposed to teach but I am not a creative director who needs creativity everyday.. The most worrisome class is 3K which my classmates even Lee could not control the class... Unexpectedly, the class is worst than what the "worst" was in my mind... The students do not even listen to me, they talked, they went in and out without my permission, lied to me & left 5 minutes earlier which even I shouted and asked them back also useless and WORST fought in from of me... There is this Indian gang who likes to tease an obese but a nice boy with the name "Ogawa".. The worst class in my first week and what WORST is I am the teacher who is going to teach them Sivik... Okay... Bad... Depress... I know... But as what Lee said, I chose to teach in the morning session, therefore, I have to accept the challenge...

I have a brother who is studying in Form 2 now... After that bully case in 3K and the attitudes and behaviours of the students, I am worried about the future of our country and my brother... The teachers can't do much... These people in this generation are very hard to control and teach... They are worst than what I had in my mind... What is the problem now? How to change these people? What kind of future will we have in Malaysian society? Oh my, I can't even imagine... Just hope that my brother is studying well in his school, safe and doesn't behave as the students in SMK BB.... Family education and care are important for them....

Today is my first time to join Christian fellowship with Tien, Lee, 4 Form 5 students, one cute little boy from Form 1 and very nice, sweet and kind Pn.Helen... From this meeting, I found peace and warmth... And hope.. At least from this meeting, I saw there is some minority who are willing and seriously studying, nice and well behaved... So I realised that whatever is happening to me in 3K, i should seriously teach them Sivik for the sake of the minority in that class... Who doesn't want to learn in this class, I just ignore them...

HOPE IS STILL THERE, MY PEARL...

8 MORE SUFFERING WEEKS TO GO....

FIGHT FOR YOUR CHOICE and KEEP SMILING

Sg. Lembing, Kuantan

Went to Sg. Lembing for the second time with my father's secondary school friends together with Mr. egg...

The first day was super boring...Among the six families, I only know one family with the familiarity of only 30%... First day, we spent most of the time on the car travelling from KL to Kuantan... OH.. My ass was pain and suffering...

We reached there around 1 something and the first destination was the hanging bridge.... 

A perfect picture from Mr. Egg.. Thanks to the camera that he bought not for his skill... He bought a Sony camera from Digital Mall with this special function known as PANAROMA... I will put this picture as the wallpaper in my laptop..

The lobby/living room of the house my father rented.. My father was the one who was responsible for the accommodation... The house was big but the room was not spacious... Each room was small, has not functioning tv, has not good connection Wifi service... Very bad service... But the lobby/living room was the best.. spacious and comfortable, so, I took a picture there..

We went to the beach as well at around 6 something... Even though is late evening, the beach was so crowded with people.. Since, it was late evening, we cancelled the plan of playing and swimming in the sea... Instead, it was "selfie" time..

Second day, we actually decided to climb the Lembing Hill but once again the plan was cancelled due to sleepiness... We ha breakfast at the pasar and we had "Yong Tau Foo" noodle...

The thickest and oldest tree in Sg.Lembing

We rented bicycles and we had cycling on the second day... Happiest and funniest moment... 

After crossing the bridge, we went to eat the famous "Shao Zhu" which my best friend, Tie Mie, likes to eat the most... But the quality of this "Shao Zhu" deteriorated after the first time we tried it which was only one year ago.. No longer crispy and delicious... However, the price was remained RM20 one box..

The only wooden house beside the hanging bridge... The family who stays here are simple.. Wonder how they are able to survive... But they can, I can't...

That was the end of myKuantan trip which the remaining of hours on the second day was spent on the car going back to KL...

What feeling is this?

Just came back from Kuantan with my family...

Had lots of fun and took lots of photos...

Memories are with me but pictures are with Mr. Egg...

Will upload those photos and talk about my memories...

Latest by this week...

Tomorrow have seminar for us to be well prepared for practical next week...

Worry, scare, not anticipate, afraid, a lot of complicated and inexpressible feelings...

But have to face it anyway...

Down and depress...

FIRE

Angry ah angry ah !!!!!!!!

Spent whole evening to do my research paper, at the end wanted to save, Microsoft hang and the whole thing disappeared.....

Now have to burn the midnight oil, try to trace back what I have written down in the evening.. I am very frustrated because of this assignment.. When I almost done everything, all the hard work vanished in a blink....


CRAZY MAN.......................................................................................... AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!