Friday 13/9/2013

After two and the half months, I have finally finished reading this book from Mitch Albom entitled "For one more day". Seriously the more I read, the more mature my thinking and attitude become. I start to love reading <3
In this book, I found out some interesting and meaningful sentences. We realize time passes fast but we always hang this statement  "We still have a lot of time" beside our mouths. Irony? Contradict? Actually time passes fast is a true fact but we still have a lot of time is actually an excuse for us to delay the matter we lazy to face or to settle.

Another thing is "Going back to something is harder than we think." -Posey Benetto

Hence, always live your life with no regrets and full of appreciation.
After I read this book, I thought back the way I treated my parents badly sometimes. The way I am being impatient with them, getting annoyed when they asked me to do this and that and screamed to them. The time we have with them is limited. They can be patient with us and be happy to do things we demand them to do. But why can't us? They are growing older. I should love them more and company them whenever I can. Without them, I may not exist in this world. Without them, I may not able to be who I am now.

THANKS mi and ba. SORRY for the bads and mistakes I did to you two. I LOVE YOU

Feeling lethargic ==

One more day to go, then is the time to go back to reality... I think this kind of reluctant and depress feelings happen to me since pre-school until now... I was too enjoying my life at home... The life when you can wake up without the alarm's noise, watch tv till you felt bored, online 24 hours without worrying about assignments, eat with multiple of choices, stay at home and doing nothing... WOW... This kind of life deserves infinite of likes from me... I love the way I am living my life now...

I don't want to go back to Uni and study T.T

I think I need a day to recover my readiness to study....HAIZ...REALITY

Pimples T.T

Well, on 29th August I had insomnia because of the pimples on my face... I had them on my face since last year around October until now... At first I tried to comfort myself that these pimples will get better hut until now there are still on my face... What happened to my smooth face? I started to get sick of this face and worried that the pimples will be on my face until I get married and old.. I AM NO LONGER PRETTY !!!!!!!

I must do something about this... Even myself started to become annoyed by this face, then how about others? I MUST DO SOMETHING( feeling determined)

So I went online that night to search for the information about ACNE... Feeling relieved that the pimples on my face are not in the worst and critical stage ^^¥ I even whatsapp my friend and bestie regarding my pimples... Since I am not in the exacerbated stage, I can go to the drugstore and ask for help... So I went to this pharmacy and bought these helpers :

According to the Pharmacist, she said that I will be able to see the result after one month.... So to ensure what she said is reliable and valid, I took two photos of the pimples on my left and right cheeks.... Here are the pimples... 

WARNING: Please don't see the pictures if you have heart attack or want to prevent eyes sore...

These pimples are on the left cheek....

These pimples are on the right cheek....

Which side is more serious? Well, different people has different feeling... To me, both sides are serious.... Hopefully I can be pretty soon <3

Done

Finally, I had bought a Samsung Tab 3 last Friday... I like the to-do-list 2013 that I wrote with my bestie in the library... Due to my age, I have this thinking that I should be more discipline and mature in the aspect of mentality... Hence, I trained myself to work hard to accomplish the lists... I think I am going to do the same again next year with Mr.Tan...

A new day

After the "incident" that happened in Tuesday, everything was over... The situation or feeling I have now is like the existence of rainbow after rain... I felt happy, grateful and free... Here, I want to say thank you to several people...

1. Mr.Tan.. Thanks for accompanied me when I was down and unhappy.. Because of you, I left the unhappiness behind...
2. Teacher Jing Jing... Thanks for hiring me when I need a job... Although I heard a lot of vicious remarks about you from the teachers here and I saw by myself the way you scolded the teacher and your maid, you treated me good like your own daughter... You helped me a lot... To be honest, in my image, you are a good employee..
3. Teachers who worked at Taska Bunga Suria especially Teacher Tan... We had fun and talked a lot to ensure our time passed fast... Thanks for helping me and chatting with me... I love the time we had when the supervisor was taking off days...

~~Now my holidays officially started from today onward~~

Well.. I have think of the Western names for my future daughter and son, no matter who my husband is... (Sorry Mr.Tan but your possibility is the highest)... For my son will be Carsten while my daughter Malange...

The source of these names:
1. Carsten: One night, I watched this badminton world tournament with Mr.Tan.. It was a competition between which countries... I forgot but it was a men double... So the announcer/commentator announced the name of the players from Denmark, Carsten Mogensen... The moment I heard this name, I was like "Wow.. What a nice name!!" Since Mr.Tan likes badminton very unlimitedly, I decided to use it for my son..
2. Malange: Came from an article which I saw from my senior and shared with my best friend... Malange is a name of a coffee.. It sounds nice and I like coffee unlimitedly as well, so I decided to use it for my daugther...

* Live with the heart of appreciation *

Off day

Hahaha... Guess what day is today?

Yes.. Today is my off day... Today my daycare center was having one day trip to factories. The principal did not included me into the list because I am a part-timer.. 

I am not sad because they excluded me but I am having a fun day relaxing at home and settled my fee payment and my SOP report (have to force myself to settle all these by today).

Today is also the Chinese Valentine's Day which I am not celebrating..

~Deng Deng Deng~ My new/temporary smart phone :

I bought this phone under the Malaysian Budget 2013 programme.. A free phone for youths from the age of 21 - 30 years old... Although it was stated as "Free" but it was not free.. I have to pay RM50 for the SIM card + 8GB Memory card = = Although this phone is a local brand and smaller in size but the internal functions are not bad.. At least i can play a lot of games that my SE unable to download ^^

Although I have this phone but I am determined to buy Note 2... Note 2 please wait for me ><

My Future

When I was halfway doing my report for the SOP, I felt bored and meaningless.. I stopped doing the report and was thinking about my future... Even though, I have studied this course for already almost 2 years, I still have no interest in becoming a teacher.. Even though, every holidays or semester breaks, I used to become a part time tuition or daycare teacher, I still have no interest in teaching children.. Thinking back, I chose this course because of my parents.. When I put this course as my first choice, I thought I will be not that lucky to get this course, as most of my friends and seniors said that it is very hard to get to study your first choice.. But I don't know whether I am LUCKY or NOT, I got my first choice..

I don't know what should I do after I graduate.. I can't be staying at home all the time or get married after graduate.. Hence, I was using the whole evening to think about my future...

What I want actually?

1. A work that guarantees a bright future for myself.
2. A work that gives you an amount of salary which is enough for my survival + luxurious life.
3. A work that gives me a sense of freedom.
4. A work that allows me to have make up and wear pretty clothes.
5. A work that brings me happiness but not frustration and anger.

Is it possible for me to find this kind of work? I don't know but I WILL try to find this kind of work for myself. I was thinking of becoming a flight attendant BUT in my opinion, flight attendant has no difference with a waitress.. It is just like a higher level of waitress..

Am I having too many demands? What should I become in the future? I have no idea T.T

Already August...

Well, holidays, are you in a hurry? My holidays passed so fast... Already a time, I didn't update my blog.. Nothing much.. I am still working for the seek of my Samsung Galaxy Note 2... An unhappy incident happened.. Mr.Tan's car was ransacked by robbers and my bag was searched messily by the dirty hands of these robbers... I lost a lot of things compared to Mr.Tan.. I kept on comforting myself but I think I cannot accept this incident, I fell sick.. Until today, I am still having cough and flu..

July was not my month... Hope August will treat me better <3
~Life still goes on~

A good lecturer

I still remember she was once a lecturer that I disliked and we reluctant to have.... She was once a lecturer who gave a strict and unreachable distance to us.. But TIME proved to us that she was a good and friendly lecturer..

When I was happily having my dinner with Mr.Tan and my youngest brother at Barbeque Plaza at Jusco to celebrate his good achievement in his exam as he achieved second ranking in his class, I received a message from my best friend..
"Miss Asma has passed away yesterday night."

I was shocked and speechless.. My mind became empty and the only thing I can think about is call Tien Mie.. I called her to confirm the news... After the call, I was surprised.. My tears came out and the memories in me related to her flashback in my mind.. The time she talked to us after the oral practice related to her true personality, her hobby and her travelling experience and the time I saw her during the exam.. I cannot stop crying even I knew that I was in a public area.. She was healthy, she was young, she hasn't married, how come she passed away suddenly? Although she was strict, I cannot deny that she was a passionate lecturer and in my memory, she was strict about pronunciation.. Just because a faint, she was diagnosed to have brain tumor and then she died.. Life is so sudden and unpredictable..

I was crying and told Mr.Tan that " Death is a must in everyone's life, hence it is not scary.. It is scary when it comes without signal or notice.." Since her death was sudden, none of us prepare, she was not given the chance to do the things she wanted to do with anyone she wanted to spend with.. Hope she is in peace now with Gods in heaven..

~Thanks, Miss Asma~

Why???

I am very tired and suffer here.. Wonder why I am working part time?? Shouldn't holidays be the time for relaxing and enjoying? Then, why am I here??

REASON FOR WORKING PART TIME JOB:
~To achieve the target that I set at the beginning of the year. To buy Samsung Galaxy Note 2~

Haiz.. Why am I so stupid to set this kind of target? Now I have to work hard to achieve it, otherwise I am a failure...

But the more I work, the more stress I get, the more pimples I have.. Shoot all the children.. I hate children.. I can play with them but cannot face them for a day.. I think I will resign at the end of this month, if I really cannot bear the stress...

Tomorrow I am going to meet the principal of SMK Sinar Bintang for the seek of SOP... I have to do this before these two week because the second week and third week of August will be school holidays.. Wish me all the best tomorrow <3

Happy Birthday Giraffe

Today is my lovely Giraffe/ Betrayer/ Gwang Soo's birthday ^^ He is one of the Running Man members that is funny, cute, disoriented and insane.. His character in Running Man makes him famous and outstanding.. Good job, Gwang Soo.... Hope you are able to be outstanding in your career and still work hard and play smart in Running Man show..

Who is SHE?

I think this picture describes her personality very well....

Seriously this principle I hold it and remains in my heart since secondary school until the day I die, "The relationship between you and the family is the only relationship that will never change." I love my family members very very very much.. I don't care how they behave to others or how they behave to me, I still love them because THEY ARE MY FAMILY... Most of the people or parents will say that, parents are the one who give birth to you, therefore they are the one who will know you and understand you the best.. I can tell you this statement is not true.. I know myself the best.. I regretted that I introduced Mr.Tan to them.. My parents are materialistic.. Not even to him but to me as well.. She talked bad about him again today.. His everything.. I was like "Come on.. I am the one who is always with him so I knew him more than you do.. You met him how many times a day? You started to meet him last year only a few times in a year and each time not more than 2 hours...No deep communication, no going out, no sharing of happiness and sadness.. NOTHING.." She even used my sister to threat me.. I mean "Mxxxxx, you are insane man.. If you have brain, you will not use my sister to threat me.." Don't you scared your words may affect the relationship between my sister and I? I kept quiet but she kept talking until I cannot accept it anymore.. I talked back.. " I knew your personality very well.. You are materialistic even to me too.. You are the one who persuaded me to take Teaching course, yet you told all your friends even relatives different versions of story.. You told them I studied medicine, pharmacist and some you told them I studied abroad... So you think that becoming a teacher is a disgrace? Then, why you persuaded me to take this course? You made me embarrassed to meet your friends because I don't know which version to say and how to explain to your friends what I am studying.." You think I don't know.. You are wrong.. I just remain silent but it doesn't mean I don't know.. Finally, she kept quiet..

How Mr.Tan behaved, I knew the best... If he pretended in front of me how he behaved, well, he can be the best actor in this world.. It is impossible a person can act so well without leakage in front of you for 5 years.. He may change one day, I don't know.. He may not love me one day, I don't know.. But for sure, he is good to me now..

Is true, that you are the one who gave me life and everything.. I appreciate.. I do not care who you are to the outsiders, behave badly to Mr.Tan and treat me unfairly... You are my parent.. I have the responsibilities to take care of you in future, to respect you and to love you..Even if you are a murderer, I have to accept you as my parent.. I will do what I have to do to you... This is my promise.. Please don't judge Mr.Tan again based on his appearance and what he has now.. If you keep using this way to measure a person, I think the one who will be conned is not me but you.."

~Time will show a person's true identity not his appearance and belongings~

SUCH A "FAKER"

I was in a very bad mood today... I thought my supervisor is good to me.. Yet, she back stabbed me today... She called to the principal of the center (my boss) and she told her about the mistake I did to the 6-year-old girl... I was angry because when I admitted my mistake that day, she didn't scold me.. Instead she said it was okay to make mistake.. The problem is not me, the problem is the parents who are very fussy in marking their children's books... During that time, I was like "My supervisor is very good.. I should put my best effort in my working to pay her back." Did she know that I was touched by her words?

Then today I heard she called to the principal and talked about this matter... She thought I was not there but I heard.. What I mean was if you want to scold and complain, then you can scold me.. Face to face criticized me or scolded me, is okay for me.. This is because it was my mistake.. So I don't mind.. But why you want to talk this matter behind me?? In front of me, you acted like an angel but behind me you acted like an evil.. I was so angry an I hated the way she said that I am a university student who takes course in English Education but I am not able to identify the usage of "on" and "at".. I felt angry until I wanted to cry.. However, I didn't... I hated her to the maximum.. None likes her including ME started from today onward..

Hesitation

This morning was very down for me T.T I received a complaint from a mother of a 6-year-old girl.. She called to my supervisor and she said that the "teacher" (who was me) marked wrongly a sentence that was wrote by her..She said it was impossible for this sentence to be a wrong sentence because her daughter copied this sentence from text book.. The sentence that made by her was:

The pail is on the beach.

I marked it wrong and correct it with:

The pail is at the beach.

I checked her book and I told my supervisor, "Beach is a place, so shouldn't we put "at" instead of on?".. She asked me to check dictionary for confirmation.. I checked and I saw a sentence for the word "On" and I saw an example sentence for this word " The bank is on the river." OMG~~~ This means that the sentence she made was correct and I was the one who wrongly marked... I admitted my mistake and said sorry to my supervisor.. Very lucky.. My supervisor did not scold me instead she said parents nowadays are very fussy.. She told me to be careful next time.. 

After that time, I kept thinking of my mistake... I studied English for 13 years.. I am now studying a course specially in teaching English... In future, I maybe going to be an English teacher who is going to teach the future leaders.. Yet, I am not able to differentiate whether a simple statement made by a 6 years old student is wrong or right... Should I continue to take this course? Am I a qualified English teacher?

Be Happy Again ^^

I saw this picture from Running Man Facebook.. 

They are selling Running Man animal version Tee... I persuaded my siblings to buy but none of my siblings want to buy it... I persuaded my best friend to buy but she hesitated.. Haiz.. So sad.. But luckily I have my forever supporter, Mr.Tan.. I persuaded him to buy and he said yes immediately.. Tee without name tag is RM 29 while with name tag is RM 44.. I wanted to buy the tee with name tag because I felt nicer.. Since I am not able to buy the entrance ticket for Running Man showcase, I will buy this tee.. But I still hesitate whether I should buy with name tag or not??

Saturday ~ 6/7/2013 Ber-bonding day with my siblings

Today, my cooking mood aroused suddenly... Yes, I am going to make KIMBAP (Korean sushi roll) today... I went to Tesco with my sister to buy the ingredients, we bought many things except for seaweed and salmon... So what to do? I have to drive to another place, Jusco to buy the other two ingredients... I used RM 100 of my first month salary to buy these ingredients... Although I felt my heart pained but it was worth at the end because I was able to cook with my siblings...

The Kimbap I made with my sister... My sister did the frying and the rice while me prepared the ingredients, cooked the eggs and rolled the Kimbap... 

The Kimchi fried rice that was cooked by my second brother.. He made this after my sister and I had made the Kimbap... He made this because of sudden interest.. Although he made this without planning but the appearance and taste of this fried rice is better than mine T.T HE IS A BETTER CHEF THAN ME

The mess after our cooking session... Seriously I would like to cook but I do not like to clean up the mess after cooking... Luckily I have Mr.Tan <3 My sister did the cleaning while me have to do the washing... I had dinner with Mr.Tan.. So when Mr.Tan came to my house I asked him to do the washing for me.. Thanks Mr.Tan...

I went to One U to have my dinner with Mr.Tan.. What we had? I forgot already ^^ But I bought one blouse, a skirt and a scarf from Brands Outlet and Cotton On.. Show you my things

Thanks Mr.Tan for becoming my driver and my banker <3 I love you so much...

4th July 2013 ~~~ Thursday

Finally is going to be Friday tomorrow ^^ I am a child who expects for Friday to come... I heard and read from the medias that MEGA SALES is here.... Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to go shopping, I wanted to go for tea..... BUT unfortunately, OU has no sales T.T  I get to know from my best friend.. She told me OU has no sales... Then, where should I spend my money??

I saw this picture from Running Man page... This is the main pose of Mr.Tan and he did this without knowing Gary did this pose... Is this a signal that tells me GARY = MR.TAN ... What pose did they do?? THIS >>>

My best friend told me before that Gary looks like Mr.Tan.. But seriously I didn't feel so at the beginning... I like GARY very very very very very much... I don't believe that Mr.Tan could be Gary... Gary is handsome + cute <3 but Mr.Tan not handsome and cute at all... However, the longer I watched Mr.Tan and Gary, I felt they really look alike.. I love them very much <3 <3

Ohaiyo ^^

Started to work again at the same daycare center "Sunflower" for 3 days including today.... Well, to be honest, quite tiring but working is a very good thing to do to pass my days.... I can earn money as well... After I get my first month salary, I was so happy... The money was enough for me to buy my own things, to eat, to shop and to save maybe...

While for the SOP, I felt quite reluctant to go and complete it... I felt to register this course for the next semester but at the same time, I wanted it to complete early... Anyway, tomorrow is my registration day for my special semester course... Should I register this course at this semester or next semester?? I don't know ==

Ok.. What am I going to show next is really driving you crazy...

Yes... It's Running Man coming to Malaysia Showcase... Well, at first when I heard the news that Running Man members are coming to M'sia, I was pretty touched and seriously for 100% "I WILL GO" ... But after I saw this in the Facebook, I was disappointed and angry... What?? Seriously?? Money again?? How come?? Some more, the cheapest one also requires at RM 169... OMG... Again the question arouses... Should I go or not?? Should I spend the money or not??

A nice Drawing for HIM

After the exam, I decided to take a rest instead of working...I had very nice and long sleep like a Sleeping Beauty until 2 something without stress or burden thinking that I have to wake up early to school, do assignment or to work.. This feeling was VERY VERY VERY VERY nice ^^

After woke up, I watched all the dramas and shows that I wanted to watch especially RUNNING MAN.... 

Deng~~~Deng~~Deng Deng~~ Running Man drawing by someone unknown.. This picture was downloaded from my best friends's blog...So cool right? Especially Haha"s and Gary's faces...Look so real.... I had set this picture as my wallpaper... I like RM so much... Thanks to my sister who introduced this show to me... I knew from newspaper they are coming to Malaysia this September... I am for sure going to meet them especially GARY... Mr.Tan had promised me to take a leave for me and to meet the RM members....

I cleaned my room yesterday as well as the rubbish in my phone... Guess what? I saw this picture>< This picture was drawn by me for a 6-year-old student's "Tulisan" homework... The "tulisan" that they have to write was " Ini buah-buahan tempatan." I remembered that I was the one who asked him "Do you want me to draw for you?" ... Maybe because he was tired with his homework... Therefore, he said yes.. He demanded me to draw a picture of his parents and him, eating the local fruits... So i drew this... Hehehe ^^ He said this picture was very ncie and he showed off to his friends... He even praised me "Teacher Hor, you are very good in drawing." All the young students were impressed with my drawing... I was very very HAPPY ....To the kids, this picture is very nice but if I showed this to the adults, they will say this picture "childish"... Is this a signal that my perception and thinking are similar to a child's perception and thinking?? Is this good?? Anyway, I am happy to mix with the children instead of the teachers there... Children are innocent, happy and cute BUT many many times they are NOISY and ANNOYING... 

Yeahh

Finally this is the happiest moment after a very tiring and frustrating time... END OF MY EXAM AND 2nd YEAR^^

Seriously.. This semester was the most relaxing semester.... The courses are better and relaxing and I had only four exams in this semester.... To end my stressing time, I took a picture with my Best Friend...

CHANG CHANG~~~ my sakai and messy appearance with my best friend,Tien Mie (Finally she wore the same T-shirt with her :putnam:) Thanks to Chui who took the picture for us...

Goodbye to my another three SAKAI friends: Yee Mei, Wendy and Wana... They are going to Korea soon for exchange... Even though the only go for one semester.. Yet, I will miss them for the first month of the sem....

GoodBye

Wow... Today the haze is so terrible... Why UM didnt cancel the exam? Graduates' health are important as well...

Get this picture from one of my friend's facebook... See how terrible is the quality of KL's air? The pollution arrived KL since Saturday and it is getting worse... I felt suffocating....

The picture of our farewell with Eunji...Eunji has leaved UM last Tuesday.. To give her a farewell, we went to Midvalley.. Eunji and Seulgi lost the snooker game with me and Mr.Tan... As a result, they have to treat us SNOWFLAKE ^^

This is another picture of another farewell for Seulgi, my korean teacher and friend...This was also a dinner for welcoming and knowing my new Korean teacher, Cha Ryeong.. Thanks to Seulgi.. She introduced this new teacher to me...We had dinner at a place that I know is famous but my first time to go there.. SS2 MURNI... The food was nice and large in size especially DRAGON PIZZA... yummy...

Goodbye my Korean friends... It was a nice memory to meet you guys and learn Korean from you... We sure can meet one day.. Keep in touch^^

Beauty

I want my fair and flawless skin back.. Please, Fair and flawless skin.. Please come back to me T.T It has been with me almost 6 months.. Every night, after I have taking my bath, I feel sad when I am looking at myself from the mirror... When will all these little islands disappear from my face? However, I always tell myself that I am the prettiest and smile to myself in the mirror every morning.. According to a research I read from the newspaper, smiling at yourself every morning will make a person prettier and younger... Actually I have used to the presence of these little islands on my face.. Hence, I do not care how people say about my face.. Because I am who I am.. I have to carry on with my life... I cannot stay away from others or hide myself at the corner because of my face... I am not the worst...Therefore, I believe sooner or later my pimples will say bye bye to me... But they need time to say this word.. Ok... I will give them some time until the end of this year <3

Spending day again !!!!

Today I spent money again... Seriously, my spendthrift behaviour is really cannot be acceptable... I am not working but I spent more than I received.. This is bad... I have to start to discipline my finance... Start from next Monday, I have to depend on my father and Mr.Egg for my pocket money.. Thanks for my father who is willing to pay for my camping fee as well as Mr.Egg who is willing to give me money for the camping... Thanks for these two sources of my money.. I love them <3

Wednesday (3/4/2013) + Thursday (4/4/2013)

Well, I am officially finished reading the novel “Life of Pi” after two months. After finished reading it, I was in a moment of exuberance and the first person who came into my mind after I finished reading this book was my best friend. I was eager to share this news with her. She always teasing me with the time I spent to read this book which compared to her in two months(If I am not mistaken) she has finished reading almost 5 to 6 books. I still remembered the purpose of me of buying this book was because of the movie as well as the trend of that time. Seriously, I learned a lot from this book. No offense but I learned 6 lessons: 

1. Nobody can prove God’s existence yet God = love which is not concrete yet it is a feeling and trust. 

2. Gods or religions are the last resource people will seek for if they were not able to solve their problem. 

3. Environment has the ability to change a person’s behavior or habit. 

4. Fear is the most powerful foe in human’s life while courage is the only one that can defeat fear and bring  

    individual to success. 

5. Not everything in this world can be proved or witnessed by your own pair of eyes is true. Sometimes 

    believe is the thing that determines the matter to be true or false. 

6. Feelings or imaginations in humans are powerful as it is able to change human’s mentality or perceptions  

    toward a topic. 

Next, I would like to COMPLAIN about my fifth anniversary which fell on 4th of April. Well anniversary supposed to be ROMANTIC + HAPPY... Did he know that how excited and anticipated I am towards this special day? I did not hope for him to buy for me something really expensive but I want his sincerity.. But for me the anniversary ended with well maybe only HAPPY... I cant deny that he is a good boyfriend and a good man as well but he is definitely 100% not romantic at all... Well, I can only comfort myself with the saying that "NOBODY IS PERFECT" although I am really angry with this... No cards, no flowers, no presents... WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU MR.TAN??? And we used up almost an hour to decide on the restaurant and the type of dinner we wanted to go... At last, we went to a western restaurant which serves Germany food.. Forgive me, I forgot the name of the restaurant.. Anyway, we did have a "nice" night.. I seriously hope that he will know what to do for next year anniversary celebration...

Reality

Have you ever felt the feeling when there is nobody who wants you and accepts you as a part of them and at the same time you are desperate for someone else there to help you and accept you? Have you ever been treated unfairly? Have you ever been betrayed by a friend who is not willing to talk to you about a problem that you are facing personally instead she tells you the problem through the mouth of an authority? I can tell you that this feeling is terrible and unacceptable.. Is the feeling that you are being stabbed by the person you like and trusted the most from the front... You cant believe it but at the same time you witness it by your own eyes.
To be frank, I can accept the scolding and punishment from them as this is really my wrong.. I felt sorry and guilty for my behaviour.. I can also slowly accepted their unfairness towards me as I remembered one of my Form 6 teacher told me that "It is impossible for the God or world to be justice... If the world is fair and square, there will be no poverty or social classification in this world." Hence, I don't blame them to be unfair to me even though there must be a number of people are behaving like me and I do not want to pull others into the hot water... The only thing that I cannot accept is that why they cant tell the problem to us personally?? Is this a severe matter?? Do you think we are still children or teens?? Do you think you are older than us or having a higher position than us?? You are nothing.. We are course mates.. If you want us to change group, why cant you tell us personally?? We are willing to change our group... They were the one who made the matter to be so serious.. Thus, do not blame us to be mean too... However, don't worry.. I have my principles in my life.. If the person treated me good, I will treated her back the double of her kindness... Yet, if the person is bad to me, no worries, I will do nothing to her but I will feel disappointed with her.. I do not believe that by talking bad about others is able to raise up my reputation.. It is not worth for me to give them free publicity to promote their true personality to the world... One fine day, people will get to know your truth personality by their own pair of eyes..
I cannot deny that telling your problem to your best friend is really making your mood better. However, if you tell your problem to more than one person, the problem is getting worsen... Hence, I do not like to tell my problem to everyone except to my family, Mr.Egg and my best friend now... Lastly, I want to say thank you to the people who lent us hands... In return, I will do my best to help your group to achieve an A... I want to prove to the one who doesn't want me that is their loss to kick me out... Sit back and watch the miracle until your jaws drop...HAHAHAHAHAHA

21/3/2013 Thursday

The feeling of when your cells are torn apart from your skin...You wanted to cry yet a tear is not able to come out from the corner of your eyes... This feeling is more tormented than the feeling of pain... To be honest, I cannot explain to you this feeling if you asked me what feeling is this... But I experienced this feeling today...I wanted to perform and show my best to act out the character as Oedipus but at the end I felt myself failed to do it... I was nervous before the show and I wanted to act with expressions and fluent English... But T.T I saw my lecturer's expression was like "what is she talking about" and she asked for the script from the girl beside her.. I knew what her expression meant... She cannot understand my dialogue.. How come I can never speak fluent English???? I do not expect myself to speak like a banana or foreigner but I hope to speak fluent and well-structured sentence... Why am I such a failure?? After 2 years, what have I learned??

Growing up

Although physically and mentally I am deteriorating since I entered UM but honestly I felt that I have grown up cognitively... I am 23 now and I have 7 more years to end the age beginning with the number 2... I do not want to waste my 20s with all the nonsense and ludicrous.. I should bring my life to the peak of the mountain and do something to enrich my experience and knowledge.. Hence, I came out with the "must-do-list" with my best friend... I wanted to become a good friend and spread the positive influences to her.. So I asked her to come out with this list too.. They are six things I should done it by this year.. These six things to me are minor matter but they are something that will affect my future in the aspect of appearance and health.. I am contented with my lists but I wanted to add one more thing to my list which is learning either guitar or violin by this year... Wish me good luck..

Lost

Well, no class again for tomorrow.. Let me think, how many times I have skipped classes? This is the fourth week of my semester and I skipped for only two classes so far which are Research class and Unit class(if he counted I absent tomorrow).. I think my life is too easy.. Yet I like to complain that my courses are hard, the assignments are demanding and money is not enough for me to spend, etc.. These are nothing if I were to use all these complaints to compare with others who take medical course or accounting course, the assignments and courses are far more difficult than mine and of course for those who stays far away from their parents and money to them is more important than mine.. Why am I so demanding and not appreciate with what I have now?? ~SHOOT ME~ 

What is my problem now?? I have no problem.. All the problems I encountered eventually were not problems.. They are something that I created meaninglessly in my life.. My assignments actually are easy, the courses I took are easy-going with the nice and kind lecturers I have and the money I have is enough for to spend + I have my parents' financial support.. I should be satisfied.. YES~~ I should... Sorry Chui for asking you to give me your voucher which is the same as asking you for your money..I should not do this right?? Everyone has the same amount which is fair and square.. Since I have used mine, I should not ask for more.. Even though she may not going to use her voucher, is her right for her either to throw, waste or give her vouchers to anyone she likes.. I should not do that.. Sorry

OK.. Back to the topic.. I am not lost.. I decided to use RM200 every month for shopping and the remainder of my book vouchers to buy books that will upgrade my cognitive thinking and personality... 

~~YES... KEEP ON GOING & ENJOY YOUR LIFE~~~

27/2/2013 Wednesday + 28/2/2013 Tuesday

Well, I wanted to update my blog yesterday but the feeling of idleness overwhelmed me. Hence, I give up writing...

Refreshing my memory about yesterday, well, the most remarkable event was the outing with the maniacs which included Grace, Wana, Nadia and of course my lovely "second messenger" a.k.a Tien. Gan was excluded from the name "maniac" because he was quiet and isolated in our outing. This was also my first time to go out with Grace and Wana.. Out of my expectation, our outing was not awkward, yet enjoyment and laughter appeared. We went to Ampcord Mall, a place where WAna and Gan have never been before. We had Tien and my favorites which are McD and Starbucks. We went to Book Access too. I spent all the money in my purse and a voucher worth rm50. Now, I left only RM 150 book vouchers. I need to spend these money wisely because to be frank, I am not a book worm. I seldom use my money to buy books, instead I will use them to but clothes>< Not forget to mention, my best friend Tien was scolded by our proficiency teacher because of her very bad habit, which is, playing phone during lesson. hahahaha

OK. Back to today happenings. Well the lecturer for Language Learning is so weird and always making me speechless in his class. He is either too fast in reading his notes or dismisses the class what ever time he likes. Today, I went to the class early with full of preparation to record and catch up his notes. Unexpectedly, he dismissed us within 20 minutes if I am not mistaken with the reason that we were not asking any questions related to the topic that he wrote on the whiteboard. I mean even a professor needs to be well prepare before he goes to any conference or meetings. Then, how about us?? He didn't inform us beforehand to do research or preparation about these topics, so how was he going to expect us to ask him questions related to these topics?? All I can say is, his salary is easy to earn. No wonder many students failed his class in previous sem and sem. Then about PTPTN loan was making me speechless as well. Why can't the government standardize the loan that they bank in into our account every sem?? Sometimes more than RM 1000 and sometimes less than that... Luckily, I was alert. It was impossible for my account to have more RM2000. As what I predicted, they haven't deduct my overall fee yet. But there is one thing that I should be grateful is the remainder of my money after deduction is more than RM1000...

The last thing I wanted to talk about is my relationship with my friend, Gan. He seems to be so far away from us. Why is this happening? Seriously, I have no idea. I felt that he is weird and annoying. Ya. It is true that as a friend we should accompany each other but going to kps withdraw money requires our company as well? He purposely chased us because he wanted us to company him to kps to withdraw money? Is kps dangerous? No, even if it was, it will not be robbery, is may be patty cases. I think he can protect his properties and himself. He can go back to his hometown alone why can't he go to kps himself? Does he withdraw more than rm100000? NO. What is my functions there? My duties are to stand there and panting. Haiz, seriously, I hope that he can be more brave and stronger physically and mentally. He can't hope for our companions until the end of his life. However, Tien is able to do so because she is single and they have the very low possibilities to couple up. Hope he will change to a better person in future.

22 February 2013

I thought that I will not need to attend Friday classes throughout my whole study years.. For three consecutive semesters, I had no classes on Friday.. I was so happy for this.. Friday eventually is a sleeping day for me.. However, this semester, it is mandatory for me to attend Friday class.. I was reluctant to attend this class but I was glad that I was able to register for this class.. I cannot evade to register for this class.. In any one of the remaining semesters, I will have to enter this class too.. If so, I would like to attend this class with my good friend...Haiz, sad Friday T.T

In the library, my friend and I were trying to arrange and plan for our future semesters.. In the process, we realized that we had studied in UM for already two years... Time passes in a blink of eyes without our acknowledgement... And we found out that we learned nothing from the course but we learned something not related with the course.. Is this something we should be proud of?? I dont know.. I only know that we cannot regret for our doings at the past... Be happy of who we are and be satisfy of what we have now..

              ~BE HAPPY, NO WORRIES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^^

好的开始

今天很开心啊。本来还很担心一切都不会很顺利， 怎么知道吉人只有天上。今天我的老老拿了工钱啦还有花红。平常对人来说，拿工钱和花红是个很开心的事。 可是对我和老老来说， 这是一个很好的开始， 所以特别的开心。本来还很担心钱不够用。因为最近撞倒车，还有过年需要用到满多的钱。心里很纳闷的想，咳，这个月肯定又没有的存钱还要省吃呢。可是现在不但有的花还有的存呢。很好很好。 我都知道我老老是可以的。老老，继续加油。就是因为老老好，自然而然我也受益。怎么说人是很现实的。我爸妈也不另外。他门看到那个礼篮，真的很开心。还是我最了解他们。咳。可是我好像吹打了那个价钱。早知道就不要说那么高，好像有点夸张。有点后悔了。对不起。希望他们不要再问我那个礼篮的事了 T.T
可是人不可以自大也不可以那么容易的满主。现在可能那些钱对我们来讲是很多，可是我们还要继续望前上。
谢谢老老那么努力的为我和我们的将来奋斗。 谢谢我老老的斑斑那么的看好他。他可是我老老的伯乐。竟然斑斑那么好， 我希望他水越来越多， 越来越大。也要谢谢我自己，看好我老老，做我老老的私人助理还有管钱的那个。

重要

“姐， 你没有人追么？” 这问题我从我父母身上听了很多遍。 每次我听到他们这样问我， 我都不懂要怎么回答他们。我知道他们都是为了我好可是每次听到他们问我这问题， 我就会很生气。 难道钱真的那么重要吗？爸，你以前不是常常和我说吗，找一个男人最重要就是一定要对我好吗？可是为什么现在我找到了， 你却又显他没有钱？我懂人对别人是很现实的除了家人， 我爸妈对他也不另外。 他们不想我以后辛苦的和我男人过辛苦的日子。所以我明白他们的用心。为了不让他们担心， 我说了一个骗话。 我也不懂这个狂言可以瞒的多久。可是我很希望我讲的可以变成事实。我对他真的很有希望。我相信他终有一天会是成功的。命运是自己控制的。 现在没有的东西并不代表以后你也是不会拥有。 只要你努力去争取， 你就会拥有 。坦白说， 我知道世界上没有一个人可以担保一段感情永远的长久。所以， 我对这分感情虽然是真的可是难免还是有一点保留。我很怕受到伤害。我不懂在几年几月几号， 他可能会离开我。 可是就算 他离开我， 我还是希望他会变的有钱成功的男人， 养的其他爱的女人。